Last Christmas
by ShadowKissed17
Summary: Dimitri took Tasha's offer. But what happens when Dimitri and Tasha come to spend Christmas break with Rose, Lissa, Christian, Eddie and the rest of the crew? Both Rose and Dimitri's POV. Rose's POV written by me, Dimitri's POV written by Feefella.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**** Hey guys! This is a story that popped into my head when I was listening to Taylor Swift's Song, 'Last Christmas'. Yeah I know its still summer, but hey, why not write a Christmas story? Lol. **

**Anyway, in this story, there is this huge house, which I designed myself. You can go look at it on my profile. And I suggest that you all do! Cause I think its pretty Kick Ass if I do say so myself!!! Please look at it??? *Puppy Dog Face* (BTW: I'm not to fond of Photobucket… Read my profile if you want to know why…)**

**Also the first part of this story is like a recap to inform you all of what's going on… So I hope you all Enjoy! =)**

**Disclaimer:**** Okay, I get REALLY tired of typing these, so this is going to be the first and last disclaimer for this story. ****I don't own the magnificent Vampire Academy Series, the wonderful Richelle Mead does! **

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**Chapter 1**

It was nearing Christmas again. But unlike last Christmas, we were at the Moroi Royal Court instead of the Ski Lodge that St. Vladimir's Academy went to last year for 'winter vacation'.

By 'we' I mean, Lissa, Christian, Eddie, Alberta, and me. Why Alberta you ask? Because last Christmas, Christian's aunt, Tasha, came down and offered Dimitri a chance to become her Guardian. With 'fringe benefits' I might add. And he took her up on that offer.

And since Lissa is the last Dragomir, and because she is a Princess, she needs two Guardians. I'm one of them, Rose Hathaway, and Dimitri Belikov was suppose to be the other, but since he is now Tasha's Guardian, they gave Lissa the next best thing - Alberta.

Since Christian was still Royal, even though his family had a bad reputation, he still got a Guardian: Eddie Castile, a good friend of mine.

After Graduation, Lissa convinced the Queen (with a little compulsion) to let Christian come live at the Royal Moroi Court and attend college with her. Compulsion or not, the Queen reluctantly agreed. So we all packed up our belongings and moved to Pennsylvania.

When we arrived, the Court had already picked out -or rather built- a house for Lissa, Christian and the Guardians, well, Eddie and I to live in. Alberta was more of a Guardian who patrolled the Court, so she lived in an apartment where all the other Guardians lived. Lissa and Christian requested for Eddie and I to live with them.

The only time Alberta and I guarded Lissa at the same time, was if Lissa left the Court. But other than that, I was with Lissa 24/7. Except when she was asleep.

But the house was nice. And huge. It was two stories (not including the basement), with four bedrooms with a bathroom in every one, an extra bathroom, a laundry room, a spacious living room, a huge kitchen and a balcony. The basement was more for Eddie and I since it had a workout area/gym. Along with a mini kitchen and a lounge. Like I said, the house is huge…

When you first walk in the front door, you're in the middle of the kitchen and living room. Since there is no wall separating them, it's like one massive room. If you continue straight, you'll go through a doorway and into the hall. To the left is a bathroom, the laundry room and the basement stairs. To the right are the stairs that take you upstairs, Eddie's room and a side door that leads you out to the wrap-around porch. Go upstairs and you'll reach the landing which has a sliding side door off to the right that takes you to the balcony, Go all the way to the top of the stairs and there's my room, continue down the hallway, there will be a guest room on the right and Lissa and Christian's bedroom on the left. I think I got everything…

Anywho, we've been living here for a few months now, and it was finally winter break. Thank God. I had been counting down the days and it was at long last here. God, I wanted to be done with school already! But since Lissa goes to college, so do I.

Winter Break had just started a couple of days ago and lasted the whole month of December. Don't ask me why we get a whole month off, but I'm thrilled that we do. Trust me, I'm not complaining. Just a whole month of relaxation. Well as much relaxation I can get with being the last Dragomir's Guardian and all. All I had in mind was Lissa, Christian, Eddie and I chilling and hanging out unless Lissa had to go Christmas shopping or something, which I'm sure she probably would. Until she told me the news this morning…

I had just gotten out of the shower and was getting dressed in the usual Guardian attire -black pants, white shirt, and a black jacket that I normally didn't wear- when I felt Lissa's excitement through the bond spike. I was going to go into her head but decided not to at the last minute. I would wait and let her tell me herself.

After I finished dressing, did a quick blow dry of my hair and brushed it into a smooth pony tail, I went down stairs to the kitchen where everyone was. Lissa was talking animatedly to Christian who was cooking breakfast. That Culinary Science class had come in handy after all. Eddie was standing off to the side and looked up and gave me a smile when I entered. Some News Channel was playing in the background on the huge flat screen television in the living room.

"Morning guys." I announced.

Lissa looked over at me with a big grin on her face, "Oh Rose! I was wondering when you were going to get down here. You'll never guess what we're going to do!"

"What?" I asked warily.

Lissa practically shrieked. "We're going to have a Christmas Party!"

A party was fine with me. "Really? When?" I inquired, my excitement getting the best of me as well.

"Here in the next couple of weeks…" As she went into detail about everything I let my mind wander until she got to the end of the guest list, which was pretty much the whole Moroi Royal Court and then some. "Oh, Tasha and Dimitri are flying in Friday to spend winter break an Christmas with us!"

I froze. Dimitri.

And Tasha.

Surprise! And there went my good mood. Jeez, thanks for the warning Liss.

After Dimitri left to go with Tasha, I told Lissa everything about Dimitri and me. Even the night of the Lust Charm. She was a little upset that I hadn't told her sooner, but she soon got over it. But she thought that since he had left, I had gotten over him. And the truth was, I had tried everything I knew to forget him. And just when I had thought I had patched my heart up -a little anyway- he was going to be here in less than a week to rip it back open again.

"Isn't that great Rose? We'll all be like one big happy family!"

"S-sure." I stuttered. I could already feel the stitches coming apart.

Yeah, this Christmas was going to be absolutely wonderful.

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**So did ya'll love it or hate it? Review and let me know! And don't forget to look at the house on my Profile! Please and Thank You!**

**-Martina**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** **Hey all! I am sooo sorry that I haven't updated this story in like three months! I feel horrible! But I'm trying to do better. I honestly am.**

**Anywho, I'd just like to let ya'll know that in this fanfic, Rose can sing and play a guitar. :) How about that??? Lol. Oh, also in this story, Shadow Kiss happened, just without Dimitri. :( It's sad I know, but that's how it has to be for this little fanfic to work. And Rose is still a virgin. Anyway, enough of all my talking, I hope you all enjoy! **

**Disclaimer:**** I know I said in the last chapter that that was going to be the only one, but I was just going to say that the song in this Chapter is ALL Taylor Swift's! :)**

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**Chapter 2**

_Beep! Beep! Beep! _

"Ugh," I groaned rolling over in bed and slapping the top of my annoying alarm clock. I rolled back over and willed sleep to come back to me. Normally that wouldn't have been a problem, but there was something... Something that was going to happen today, but I just couldn't put my finger on it. Sighing I got up, stretched, and headed for the bathroom to take a shower. Halfway across my room I stopped in my tracks. I remembered what was going to happen today.

Tasha and Dimitri were coming. I jumped back around to look at my clock. Actually they were going to be here in three hours.

"Wonderful." I muttered. Sighing again, I continued on to my bathroom. Tasha and Dimitri lived in Minneapolis and they were driving from Minneapolis to here, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I, personally would have flown, because it would have been a hell of a lot faster, but Tasha called on Wednesday and said that they were going to drive to see the sights because she thought it would be a way for her and Dimitri to bond more and become closer to each other. "How romantic!" I recalled Lissa saying into the phone receiver. Ugh, yeah, romantic my ass.

Ever since Lissa had told me they were coming, I had been trying not to think about it. Which was kind of hard because that was all Lissa could talk about. Even Christian and Eddie were excited about it. I'm pretty sure that I was the only one not happy about them coming. And I hated to be that way, but hey, I'm Rose Hathaway, what can I say?

Turning the hot water all the way on, I stripped off my tank top and boy shorts and stepped back to look at myself in the mirror. Yeah, I had an amazing body. I was 5' 7", athletically built, tan, C cup, dark brown hair and equally dark eyes. And from the scowl on my face, you could tell that I could be a real bitch. And I was so in bitch mode right now.

Exhaling, I turned around and got in the steaming shower. Standing under the spray of water, I wished for the first time that this Christmas break would go by fast.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When I got out an hour later, I dressed in loose training pants with my belt that held my silver stake and a t-shirt. Not bothering with drying my hair, I just pulled it up into a messy bun, showing off my three little tattoos. Two _molnija _marks for the Strigoi I killed back in Spokane, and a little star that I couldn't remember the name of, but it meant I had killed many Strigoi in battle; the battle of when a pack of Strigoi attacked St. Vladimir's this past spring.

Taking one last glance in the mirror, I headed down stairs to face this dreadful day. Well, in my opinion, to face the rest of this dreadful month.

When I reached the kitchen, I got tackled by an over excited Lissa. "Rose! Dimitri and Tasha are almost here! Aren't you excited?"

"Yeah. Ecstatic." I replied in a sour tone.

Lissa's mood changed from excited to concern in an instant. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know." There was no way in the world I was going to tell her that I was upset about Tasha and Dimitri coming. No matter how much pain it caused me, I was not going to ruin Lissa's excitement, and everyone else's for that matter. "I guess I'm just in a bad mood."

"You've kind of been in a bad mood all week." Lissa admitted quietly. It was almost like she was afraid that I would get mad at her. Probably afraid of my mood swings, hell, I'm afraid of my mood swings.

"Sorry." I grumbled as I headed for the refrigerator. I rummaged through there for a couple moments and settled for a Coke and the leftover chicken salad sandwiches from last night. Plopping down in my favorite recliner, I started flipping through the channels to find something to watch.

Just my luck, there was nothing on. Groaning, I flipped it back to the news and glared as they showed the seven day forecast. Snow, snow, and more snow. Absolutely wonderful. Don't get me wrong, I love snow for a couple of days, but then it gets old after a while.

Finishing the last of my sandwich, I got up and placed my dirty dishes in the sink. I was staring absent mindly out of the kitchen window at the never ending snow when the phone rang.

"I got it!" I yelled to Lissa who was in the laundry room. "Hello?" I asked in a sweet voice, trying to cover up my mood.

"Rose! It's Tasha!" And that's what I get for trying.

"Hey Tasha."

"I just wanted to let you know that we'll be there in about fifteen minutes."

This was just getting better and better. Not only were they spending the whole break here, they were going to get here an hour and a half early. "Fantastic. We'll be waiting on you." I replied with a hint of sarcasm. Hopefully she couldn't tell. Though it wouldn't matter to me if she did or not.

"Great! See you soon!" God, was she always so happy?

"Uh-huh. Bye." But I hung up before she could say her farewell.

"Who was on the phone?" Lissa asked coming around the corner.

"It was Tasha. She said they were going to be here in fifteen minutes."

"Oh joy! I can't wait!" Lissa squealed clapping her hands together.

"Uh-huh." I was my genius response yet again. Just then I noticed how quiet the house was. "Where are Christian and Eddie?"

"Oh, they went out. Christian said he had some 'business to attend'." Lissa laughed as she did the little quotation marks in the air.

I laughed too as I thought of Christian actually having to attend to anything business like. "Is there anything you need me to do?" I inquired.

"You could bring any dirty clothes you have down to the laundry room if you don't mind." She answered as she washed the plate that my chicken salad sandwich was on.

"Nope. I don't mind." I said as I turned to climb up the stairs. Reaching my room, I grabbed up all my clothes that were scattered across the floor, which was a weeks' worth trust me. As I scanned my room for any more clothes, my guitar caught my eye and the song that I had begun to write last night popped into my head. _Oh Dimitri…_ Sighing, I took my armful of clothes downstairs to be washed.

Looking at the clock in the hallway, I realized that fifteen minutes was almost up. If possible, my dread increased. Walking into the kitchen, Eddie and Christian came through the door.

"Hey Rose." Eddie greeted me with a smile as Christian and Lissa started talking. She was probably telling him that his aunt and more-than-likely-soon-to-be-uncle were going to be here any minute.

"Hey Eddie, what's up?

"Nothing much. We just got done with a couple errands." He said with a shrug.

"Sounds… boring." I laughed.

He chuckled. "Yeah it wasn't the greatest thing, but we might as well get use to it since we'll be doing it for the rest of our lives." He paused momentarily as if lost in thought. "So did we miss anything while we were gone?"

"Yeah you did-"

_Ding dong! _

"They're here!" Lissa shrieked as she and Christian went to get the door.

"What were you saying?" Eddie asked.

"Never mind." I grumbled glowering at the door.

"Oh I see." He laughed as he went to welcome Tasha and Dimitri.

"Ah, let the torture begin." I sighed under my breath as I felt the hole in my chest rip open further.

"Rose! Get over here! Don't be rude!" Lissa scolded me like a misbehaving child.

Groaning in my mind, I reluctantly walked over to where everyone was.

"Hello Rose." Dimitri said. God it has been a while since I've heard his voice. It sent shivers down my spine. _Stop it Rose,_ I scolded myself, _Don't let him get to you like that!_

"Guardian Belikov." I nodded in his direction but I didn't dare look in his eyes.

"Rose! It has been forever since I've seen you!" Tasha ran up to me and gave me a hug. I halfheartedly hugged her back. "How have you been?" She asked pulling away.

"As good as I can be." I responded with the fakest smile plastered across my face. I could hear Lissa talking to Dimitri beside us.

"That's good." Tasha replied showing her fangs like Christian did when she smiled. "I'm so happy that you all have invited us to spend Christmas with you."

"Oh don't thank me; it was all Lissa and Christian's idea."

"Rose, why don't you and Eddie go grab Aunt Tasha and Guardian Belikov's luggage from their car while Lissa and I give them a tour of the rest of the house." Christian asked with a smirk. Oh if you only knew how much I wanted to wipe that smirk off his face.

"Please Christian, call me Dimitri." Dimitri told him.

"Well if you insist-" Christian started to say but I didn't stay in the house long enough to hear the rest of the conversation as I walked out onto the porch with Eddie right behind me.

"He should just start calling him Uncle Dimitri." I said to Eddie while we crunched through the snow down the driveway to the candy apple red Mustang dusted with snow.

"Are you okay?" Eddie asked. "Your mood just changed all of a sudden when they showed up."

Damn. I told myself that I wasn't going to ruin everyone's fun and excitement. I needed to cover up my emotions better. "Yeah I'm fine. I just don't feel all that great."

"Oh okay."

When I opened the driver door to pop the trunk, I was engulfed in the smell of Dimitri's aftershave. I think that did it for ripping open the rest of the stitches in my heart. Shocked from the familiar sent and the pain in my chest, I jumped back and in doing so I hit the back of my head on the roof of the car. "Ouch! Son of a bitch!" I cursed grabbing the back of my head.

"What happened?" Eddied demanded coming up beside me.

"Nothing I just hit my head." I answered as I bent back down to pull the lever for the trunk.

Walking around to the trunk I was surprised to see that they were able to get everything shoved in.

"Jesus." Eddie said.

"My thoughts exactly. How much do you want to bet most of its Tasha's?" I laughed.

"Twenty bucks." He teased.

"I don't know if I have that much."

"Knowing you, you probably don't." He chuckled. "Well we might as well get started."

Groaning I reached down and grabbed two bags which probably weighed eighty pounds together. "Good Lord." I grunted. The eighty pounds didn't bother me, it just shocked me that the bags could actually hold that much.

Trudging back through the snow, we made it back to the house. Walking inside everyone was coming around the corner into the living room to sit down.

"You have a really beautiful home Lissa." Tasha was saying.

"Thank you." Lissa smiled.

"Here, let me help." Dimitri said.

"No, no we're fine." Eddie answered before I could.

"Well I'm going to help anyway." Dimitri replied as he walked out the door to the car before anyone could protest.

Continuing on to the guest bedroom, Eddie and I placed all the bags by the dresser. Looking around the room, I saw that Lissa had cleaned and dusted earlier.

"This will be the first time anyone has stayed in here." Eddie stated.

"Yeah it will be." I answered looking back at him as I walked out of the room. And since I wasn't looking where I was walking, I walked smack into Dimitri who was carrying an armful of suitcases.

Thankfully neither one of us fell. I jumped back immediately and mumbled out a, "Sorry," without looking at him.

"It's alright." He grunted from the impact.

"Way to go Rose." Eddie laughed as we started down the stairs.

"Shut up." I said punching him in the shoulder.

"Ow." He feinted hurt.

"You deserved it."

After three more trips to the car and back, we finally got everything. As we came back down the stairs, Eddie and Dimitri went back into the living room but I continued on to the basement to work out – or so I thought.

"Rose." Lissa called "Where are you going?"

Rolling my eyes, I turned around and went to the living room where everyone was. "Well I was going to go work out a little." I confessed.

And for whatever reason, Tasha felt like she needed to chime in on this "A" "B" conversation of Lissa's and mine and I was just about to tell her that she needed to "C" her way out of it, but her words were faster than mine at the moment. "Lissa was just telling us how good of a singer and a guitar player you are and I would love to hear you play something." She said as she grabbed Dimitri's hand who had sat down beside her. I glared at their intertwined fingers for a heartbeat. _Stop Rose._ I told myself, _He chose her over you. He isn't yours anymore. Hell, he was never even yours in the first place._

"Sure." I replied tight lipped. "I'll be right back." Turning around yet again, I headed back upstairs to retrieve my guitar which was on the floor beside my bed. Going back down the stairs, I heard someone come through the door and as I rounded the corner, I saw who it was. Adrian. Great.

"Little Dhampir! How I've missed you so!"

"Shut up Adrian. You just saw me yesterday." I told him. "And would it kill you to knock?"

"Yes, but every second that I didn't see your beautiful face was pure agony."

"You are going to be in pure agony when I'm done with you." I said with grin on my face. The others were watching us banter back and forth like we were a soap opera.

"Ah, how rude of me. I forgot that you were expecting company." He said hello to everyone and walked over to find him a spot on the couch. Everyone knew not to go near my recliner. As Adrian walked past me he mumbled so low that only I could hear, "I see the cradle robber has returned."

I just snorted.

"Rose was just about to sing us a song." Tasha told Adrian. As if he couldn't already tell with the guitar in my hand.

He looked at me as I sat down it my chair. "Is it another one about me?" He asked with that irritating smirk on his face.

"Adrian, none of them have ever been about you. Idiot." That got a snicker out of everyone. Except Lissa.

"Rose!" She scolded me.

"It's alright Lissa." Adrian said. "That's just the way Rose shows her love for me."

I laughed. "Love my ass!"

"Oh I do love your ass."

I chucked the remote at him which hit his face.

"Ow!" He yelled grabbing his busted lip.

"You're a big boy, you can heal yourself. Isn't that what you've been practicing to do?" I giggled.

"Rose, play the damn song. We have better things to do then listen to you two. You and Adrian can play later." Christian ordered in an annoyed tone. Just because he had helped me kill those Strigoi back in the spring didn't mean we were best friends. We got along better than we use to, but we still argued, it was just part of our nature.

"Do you want a busted lip too Fire Crotch?" I smiled which pissed Christian off even more. Well, someone was clearly on their man period.

Adrian fell over from laughing so hard. "Fire Crotch! That's a good one Rose!'

I smiled and glanced at everyone before I started the song. Tasha looked amused, Dimitri shook his head like he used to whenever I said something smart back when we were at the Academy, Lissa had her head in her hands, Christian needed to go take some Midol, and Adrian was just starting to recover from his laughing fit. I then began strumming the strings on my guitar creating the familiar tune from last night, thus making everyone look up at me. _God, Dimitri is going to hate you for this_, I thought. The song was about Dimitri, of what had happened Last Christmas, but hopefully nobody but him would understand the real meaning of it. After a couple of moments I started singing:

_Last Christmas I gave you my heart  
But the very next day, you gave it away  
This year, to save me from tears  
I'll give it to someone special_

_Once bitten and twice shyed  
I keep my distance but you still catch my eye  
Tell me baby  
Do you recognize me  
Well, it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me  
Merry Christmas, I wrapped it up and sent it  
With a note saying 'I love you', I meant it  
Now I know what a fool I've been  
But if you kiss me now, I know you'd fool me again_

_Last Christmas I gave you my heart  
But the very next day, you gave it away  
This year, to save me from tears  
I'll give it to someone special_

_Last Christmas I gave you my heart  
But the very next day, you gave it away  
This year, to save me from tears  
I'll give it to someone special_

_A crowded room and friends with tired eyes  
I'm hiding from you and your soul of eyes  
My God, I thought you were someone to rely on  
Me, I guess I was a shoulder to cry on  
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart  
A girl on a cover but you tore her apart  
Maybe this year  
Maybe this year I'll give it to someone special_

_Cause last Christmas I gave you my heart  
But the very next day, you gave it away  
This year, to save me from tears  
I'll give it to someone special_

_Last Christmas I gave you my heart  
But the very next day, you gave it away  
This year, to save me from tears  
I'll give it to someone special_

_And last Christmas  
And this year  
It won't be anything like, anything like_

_Last Christmas I gave you my heart  
But the very next day, you gave it away  
This year, to save me from tears  
I'll give it to someone special_

As the song faded out, I dared to peek up into Dimitri's dark eyes only to find that his were already staring straight into mine. But I couldn't read them. Sadness maybe? Disappointment? Sorrow? I honestly couldn't tell. I did notice however, that he had pulled his hand away from Tasha's sometime during the song.

But that could mean nothing. Right?

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**So what did you guys think? Love it? Hate it? Have any suggestions? Review and let me know! **

**Oh! Head over to my profile and click the link 'Last Christmas - Taylor Swift' to listen to Last Christmas! And I suggest that you all do! Pwease???**

**Also, I have a question for ya'll! Should Rose be able to shape-shift in this fanfic too? Please review or PM me and let me know what you think!**

**(For those of you that have no idea what shape-shifting is, check out my other story called Forever & Always!)**

**Thanks for reading!**

**-Martina**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Hey all! I told you I was trying to do better with the updating! Lol. Jk. No seriously, You wouldn't have this Chapter if it wasn't for ****Feefella**. When I heard that a lot of you wanted to know what Dimitri was feeling I contacted **Feefella** and asked her if she could write Chapter 2 from Dimitri's Point of View. And being the kind person she is, she agreed. :) So you should all thank her for this Chapter. And read her Fanfics if you havent already!

**Anywho, she will be Guest Staring a lot more in this Story, so you have that to look forward to! :) She also told me to say that she is very happy to be guest starring in this fanfic.**

**Again, enough with my chattering! I hope you all enjoy!**

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**Chaper 2: Dimitri's Point of View**

Though it wasn't snowing, the slick roads made for a slow drive. I was concentrating on the music drifting softly from the car speakers. Tasha had been silent for the last hour, content in her own mind. It was something we shared. The ability to be together in silence, neither one having to fill it with small talk.

It was something I had been able to share with Rose as well. The thought of her brought back that old painful thud in my chest. It had been a while since I had seen her and honestly, it could have been a lifetime and I would still feel that painful thud. It was the part of me that couldn't move on; that didn't want to. The idea of spending Christmas with her was both exciting and terrifying.

"Do you want me to drive? You look a little green." Tasha said from the passenger's seat. I was startled by her voice and shook my head quickly.

"I'm fine." I chanced a look at her and smiled.

She smiled back and turned her attention back toward the window. She really was beautiful. Her dark hair flowing freely covering her scar and her blue eyes were sparkling as she looked at the passing trees. I reached over and touched her leg affectionately for a moment before returning my hand to the steering wheel and concentrating on the road.

"Should we get the bags first?" I asked as I opened the door for Tasha. She got out and stretched a bit, shaking her head.

"No we can get them in a second. I want to say hello to everyone!" She hurried to the door and rang the bell. I joined her and waited, trying to remind myself to breathe. I thought I could do this but now I was having second thoughts.

"You made it!" Lissa cried yanking the door open startling both Tasha and myself.

"Lissa!" Tasha cried throwing her arms around the girl in front of her. From the doorway I could see into the large house. Eddie was making his way toward us and I could see Rose slinking off toward a hallway.

My heart skipped a beat. She was gorgeous just as she had always been. Time had only changed her for the better if that were possible. Any hint of the child that lingered in her features when in school was now gone replaced with a perfect being that was trying to sneak off now.

"Rose! Get over here! Don't be rude!" Lissa called out noticing her, then. Straightening up and taking a deep breath, Rose made her way to where we stood.

"Hello Rose," I said, hoping my voice was calmer than my mind was. I seriously doubted whether we could stay here for the holidays. I thought I was over this, I thought it was some infatuation, but being here now, with her, the feelings all came flooding back.

"Guardian Belikov." She wasn't looking at my face and I had a feeling she was going through the awkward motions like I was. This was a horrible situation for both of us. But I was determined to stay neutral so I let it go.

"Rose! It has been forever since I've seen you!" Tasha rushed up to her and gave her a hug. Rose halfheartedly hugged her back. "How have you been?"

"As good as I can be." The tone was sardonic, though I was the only one who noticed. It was irritating but at the same time Rose had never been Tasha's biggest fan. Tasha, in all her compassion, never saw the underlying bitterness in everything Rose said to her.

"That's good." Tasha replied with a smile, oblivious once again to the other woman's rude tone. "I'm so happy that you all have invited us to spend Christmas with you."

"Oh don't thank me; it was all Lissa and Christian's idea."

"Rose, why don't you and Eddie go grab Aunt Tasha and Guardian Belikov's luggage from their car while Lissa and I give them a tour of the rest of the house." Christian asked with a smirk.

"Please Christian, call me Dimitri." I said with a smile. I missed whatever else was said because I entered into my own little world as I looked at the house around me. I imagined a normal morning for the four people in this house. I knew Alberta was staying in the apartments that housed the other guardians, so it must have been pretty laid back to get up turn on the TV and make some breakfast. It wasn't much different from what I did on a regular basis but it seemed more… homey doing it here. The morning ritual that Tasha and I had developed had made me feel awkward on occasion. It felt like I was pretending sometimes. Like now, holding her hand in mine, wishing I were somewhere else.

The guilt started to eat at me, so I turned my attention to the door to see Eddie and Rose carrying in an arm full of luggage. I let go of Tasha's hand gently and went to meet them but the hallway opening.

"Here, let me help." I said.

"No, no we're fine." Eddie answered, sounding slightly winded.

"Well I'm going to help anyway." I made my way to the car before either one could protest. I yanked the bags out of the car and grabbed on to what ever handles I could find and began the trek back to the house. I made my way down the hall to the room that had been designated to us to the stay and saw Rose coming toward me while looking back at Eddie. Before I could make a noise or announce my presence at all, she slammed into my knocking the wind out of me. I huffed a bit, thankful that I had kept my balance.

She jumped back immediately and mumbled out a, "Sorry," without looking at me.

"It's alright." I said, still winded.

After three more trips the car was finally unloaded and I followed Eddie to find and join the rest of the group. I noticed Rose trying to sneak off down a staircase. Apparently Lissa did as well because she stopped her with, "Rose. Where are you going?"

Like a child being caught stealing a cookie, Rose turned toward the group and sighed lamely. "Well I was going to go work out a little."

"Lissa was just telling us how good of a singer and a guitar player you are and I would love to hear you play something." Tasha chimed in as she grabbed my hand when I had sat down next to her.

"Sure." She said reluctantly. "I'll be right back." As she turned and headed up the stairs, Tasha squeezed my hand with excitement. As Rose returned with her guitar, Adrian Ivashkov entered from the cold looking directly at Rose. The two seemed to have a weird chemistry and for some reason that irritated me.

He acted like she was some prize to be won and it was something that made me want to pummel him. _Relax_, I told myself, _she isn't yours anymore…she never was_. I nodded inwardly. It was true, she wasn't mine and I had made my decision. Most days I felt that I had made the right decision, but sitting here now in front of Rose made me doubt myself again.

"Rose was just about to sing us a song." Tasha told Adrian, interrupting one of their bickering matches.

"Is it another one about me?" He asked with that irritating smirk on his face.

"Adrian, none of them have ever been about you. Idiot." That got a snicker out of everyone. Everyone expect Lissa who looked absolutely appalled.

"Rose!" She scolded her friend.

After a few more witty exchanges between Adrian and Rose, Christian finally shut them up. "Rose, play the damn song. We have better things to do then listen to you two. You and Adrian can play later."

"Do you want a busted lip too Fire Crotch?" Rose smiled which only seemed to irritate Christian further.

Adrian fell over, laughing like a hyena. "Fire Crotch! That's a good one Rose!"

I shook my head, looking down. _Some things never change._ I thought to myself. Rose always had to have the last word. She looked at me briefly, then started strumming the guitar, concentrating on it completely.

_Last Christmas I gave you my heart  
But the very next day, you gave it away  
This year, to save me from tears  
I'll give it to someone special_

_Once bitten and twice shyed  
I keep my distance but you still catch my eye  
Tell me baby  
Do you recognize me  
Well, it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me  
Merry Christmas, I wrapped it up and sent it  
With a note saying 'I love you', I meant it  
Now I know what a fool I've been  
But if you kiss me now, I know you'd fool me again_

I loosened my hand from Tasha's grip. I felt naked suddenly. I looked around at the people listening to the song. They were oblivious. They thought this was just a song. This was me, and this was Rose. I couldn't stop the painful thudding in my chest.

_Last Christmas I gave you my heart  
But the very next day, you gave it away  
This year, to save me from tears  
I'll give it to someone special_

_Last Christmas I gave you my heart  
But the very next day, you gave it away  
This year, to save me from tears  
I'll give it to someone special_

_A crowded room and friends with tired eyes  
I'm hiding from you and your soul of eyes  
My God, I thought you were someone to rely on  
Me, I guess I was a shoulder to cry on  
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart  
A girl on a cover but you tore her apart  
Maybe this year  
Maybe this year I'll give it to someone special_

_Cause last Christmas I gave you my heart  
But the very next day, you gave it away  
This year, to save me from tears  
I'll give it to someone special_

I felt like I was drowning. I was looking at her, desperately willing her to stop playing. To play something else, anything else.

_Last Christmas I gave you my heart  
But the very next day, you gave it away  
This year, to save me from tears  
I'll give it to someone special_

_And last Christmas  
And this year  
It won't be anything like, anything like_

_Last Christmas I gave you my heart  
But the very next day, you gave it away  
This year, to save me from tears  
I'll give it to someone special_

When she finished strumming she looked at me and the look in her eyes seemed to match what I felt inside. We were both hurting. We both had tried to let whatever was between us go, and we both still lived with it everyday.

This was turning into the worst Christmas ever.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:**** Wow guys! Over 60 reviews?! I'm shocked! You guys are the best! :D I don't know how I will ever thank you! I know, I know, you're probably thinking, "Just update more often!" lol. Anyway, here is the eagerly awaited next Chapter. Hope you enjoy!**

**Oh and guys, don't forget to thank Feefella! Because if it wasn't for her, you wouldn't have these wonderful Dimitri Point of Views! And who wouldn't want to know what's going on in that Hot Russian Head of his?! So really, ya'll need to give her a ****BIG**** Thank You. She should get just as much credit as I do.**

**Also, Feefella added the lyrics to the end of the Dimitri Point of View so that you all can get a feel for how he was feeling in music form. The song is called "The Saltwater Room" by Owl City.**

**Anyway, enough chit-chat, ONWARD!**

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own a thing! Richelle Mead owns it all! **

* * *

**Chapter 3**

**Rose's Point of View**

I needed to get out of here. Out of this room, out of this house. I couldn't take it anymore. The look on Dimitri's face, of what I felt inside. I was vaguely aware of everyone congratulating me on the song, but all I could feel were Dimitri's eyes on me as I stood up from my seat.

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I gave everybody what I hoped was a confident smile. "Thanks guys, but, um, I'm really not feeling well. I think I should go lie down." I said as I put my hand to my forehead and closed my eyes hoping that they would believe my poor excuse to get out of here. To be anywhere but here at this moment. I had to leave, to get my emotions back in check. Maybe singing that song was a bad idea after all.

Concern crossed Lissa's face. "Rose, are you okay? Maybe I could-"

"No!" I all but shouted. She was going to try and heal me from my nonexistent illness. I so did not need to have to deal with Lissa's darkness along with my screwed up emotions. "I mean no thanks Liss. I'll be fine. I think I just need to go lay down. No need to waste your energy." I finished with a small smile.

"Oh, okay," she said with a frown. "Well let me know if you need anything."

"You know I will." I threw my guitar strap over my shoulder and headed up the stairs to my room without a second glance. Adrian may have said something, but I wasn't listening.

When I reached my room, I shut the door and put my guitar back in its rightful place on the floor and sat on my bed with my head in my hands. God, I thought I could have handled Tasha and Dimitri coming! What was I thinking? And what was I going to do about it? Avoid them? That sounded good to me, but it wouldn't exactly be that easy. Lissa would eventually catch on. And with the way she liked to keep everyone together, it would be practically impossible.

I got off my bed and started pacing. I couldn't just sit here; I had to do something active. I wasn't the type of person who could sit around all day and do nothing. I would have loved to go to the basement to work out, but someone would more than likely catch me.

So it's probably a good thing I had so much experience sneaking out of windows back at the Academy.

Grabbing my iPod and silently thanking God that there was a lattice, which had some kind of weird winter blooming vine-like flower growing up it, outside my window. I quickly undid the latch and silently climbed out.

Once my feet were on the snow covered ground I headed toward the part of the Royal Court where all the Guardians could go to work out and train. There was a gym with every exercise machine and piece imaginable along with a half mile track that surrounded it. The track was my goal. I thought that maybe running would help give me a chance to think about everything. "Everything" practically being just Dimitri.

I sighed.

I was just about to put my headphones in when I heard my name.

"Rose!"

I turned around to see Alberta walking towards me.

"Hey Alberta." I greeted her with a smile. I had always respected Alberta, but since she became Lissa's other Guardian, we had gotten to know each other better and I have grown to like her more.

"Hello Rose. What are you doing out here?" She asked. "Shouldn't you be with at the house since Guardian Belikov and Natasha are going to be arriving soon?"

"Well actually, they're already here." I told her.

"Oh. Well then how come you are out here?"

"I needed some air." I explained. "It was getting a little crowded at the house if you know what I mean." I laughed nervously.

Alberta smiled knowingly at me. "Yes I'm sure it is. Well, don't let me keep you. I was just heading back to my apartment."

"Alright. Well I'm sure I'll see you around. Lissa is probably going to want to go shopping soon." I warned her.

"Yes, of course she is." Alberta laughed as she walked away.

Turning back towards the track I put in my headphones and pressed the 'Play' button on my iPod. Of course, 'Apologize' was playing by One Republic. Why the hell did I put this song on here? I just shook my head and started running while listening to the lyrics.

_I'm holding on your rope,  
Got me ten feet off the ground  
And I'm hearing what you say but I just can't make a sound  
You tell me that you need me  
Then you go and cut me down, but wait  
You tell me that you're sorry  
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say..._

_That it's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late_

_I'd take another chance, take a fall  
Take a shot for you  
And I need you like a heart needs a beat  
But it's nothing new - yeah yeah_

_I loved you with the fire red  
Now it's turning blue, and you say...  
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you  
But I'm afraid..._

_It's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late whoa....._

_It's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah  
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah  
I'm holding on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground..._

I felt myself drift back to the day when I had said those very words to Dimitri.

"_Rose we have to talk." His face was stony. __I hadn't taken him seriously at first. I wish now that I had. _

"_What's up, comrade?"_

_He shook his head, clearly tired. "Please, don't make jokes, Rose. Not right now."_

"_What's going on?"_ _I could sense the danger then. Something was changing between us. He was withdrawn. Apathetic almost._

"_Tasha offered-" He started._

"_Yeah I know what she offered. But you're Lissa's guardian. You're…" I stopped myself. "You're _not_ her guardian anymore are you?"_

"_Rose, I'm sorry-" He said the words but they were just that… words. Hollow just like his voice._

_I held my hand up to stop him. Trying to breathe was hard. I had to get out of here. "It's too late to apologize." I turned and walked down the hall. _

He didn't call after me. He didn't chase after me. He just let me go. Like I had to do for him now.

Hearing my name being called pulled me out of the depressing trip down memory lane. I stopped running and jerked my ear piece out and turned to see who was trying to get my attention this time. It was Eddie. He was jogging towards me.

"Yeah?" I asked once he was close enough.

"What are you doing out here? We've been looking everywhere for you! Lissa went up to check on you and you were gone and she started to panic. You scared the shit out of all us!" He explained.

Huh. I must have been so caught up in my own head with my own problems that I didn't feel Lissa's panic through the bond. But reaching out now, I could feel that she really was worried. "I'm sorry Eddie. I didn't mean to scare you all."

"Yeah, well you tell that to Lissa," he mumbled. "Now come on. Let's go. I think she wanted everyone to go out to dinner tonight."

We started walking back through Court towards the house. "Dinner?" I squeaked. "Why?"

"Because she-"

"Hey Eddie! Hey Rose wait up!" A small, cute voice yelled that cut off Eddie's explanation to me.

We turned to see who had called us though I knew before I saw her. Mia.

Her white smile and ringlets of blonde hair bounced as she walked to catch up with us.

"Hey Mia." Eddie greeted her with a warm smile.

"Mia!" I said as I crushed her in a hug which she returned just as hard.

"How are you?" Eddie asked.

"Good." Mia answered him with a smile almost as big as his. "I just got back from dinner with my dad and some of his friends."

They talked for a minute until Eddie turned to me and said, "Rose you can go ahead and head back. I'm going to walk Mia to her room."

"Oh, okay." I said. "I'll see you around Mia. Later Eddie."

I heard a "Bye" from both of them as they walked away. Hm. That was odd. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that they might like each other. And the more I thought about it, the more I thought that they'd make a cute couple.

I was smiling absently to myself about the whole Mia and Eddie issue as I walked through the side door of the house. No point in climbing up the lattice since everyone knew I had escaped.

All was quiet downstairs so I assumed everyone was getting ready for dinner. I was halfway up the stairs just as Lissa started down.

"Rose! Where were you?! You had me worried sick!"

"Jeez Liss. Take a breath, calm down." I said trying to calm her. "I just went for a little jog around the track. Nothing to get so worked up about. It's not like I jumped on a plane and flew halfway around the world."

She frowned at me. "Still. You could have told me. Or someone. Now come on, you have to get dressed." She turned around and headed for my bedroom.

"Wait. Get dressed?" We were just going out to eat, right? So all I need to do is put on black slacks and a white blouse. That wasn't exactly getting dressed up if you ask me.

We had reached my room and she pointed at a box on my rumpled bed. "You're off duty tonight. We have reservations for the Italian restaurant across from the Café so there is really no need to go all Guardian mode." She glanced back at the box. "Tasha got you that so I expect you to wear it. Now I'm going to go finish getting ready. We'll probably leave in thirty minutes or so." And with that being said, she left closing the door behind her.

As much as I despised Tasha, I will admit she did have good taste in clothes. I was remembering the dress she had gotten me for Christmas last year as I lifted the lid off the box. Even though it had covered too much for my liking, the fabric had clung to me like a second skin.

But the dress I pulled out of the box now took my breath away. It was black and strapless and would no doubt show off every curve I had. It reminded me a lot of the night of the Lust Charm so long ago. The way Dimitri had slid that dress up and off of my body… the way his hands explored my overheated and oversensitive skin… _Stop_ _Rose! Don't think about that! _I scolded myself mentally.

Shaking my head, I went to my bathroom and slid on the dress. It fit like a glove. I looked at myself in the mirror before I proceeded to do my make-up and hair. When I had finished, I ran to my closet and grabbed my pair of black high heels. I had just slid them on when I heard Lissa calling me through the bond. _Rose, come on. We're all waiting on you. _She said. Taking one last glance in the mirror, I headed downstairs.

I had just walked into the living room when everyone stopped talking to look at me.

"Oh Rose that dress looks even better on you than I imagined!" Tasha squealed breaking the silence.

"Thanks Tasha." I said with yet another fake smile.

She smiled and held on to Dimitri's arm even tighter. I quickly looked away to Lissa. "So are we all ready?" I asked.

"Yes. Eddie just went out to start the car." Lissa answered. We normally would have walked since it was such a short distance away, but since it was snowing and all us girls were wearing dresses and heels, walking wasn't really that great of an idea.

We all walked out to the SUV and as we all got in, I somehow ended up between Tasha and Dimitri, my arm and leg brushing slightly against him. I fought against the feelings that this caused me. I just wished that the short drive to the restaurant would go by fast.

Once we arrived I got out of the car as fast as I could and went to walk next to Lissa as we entered the restaurant.

Our reservations lead us to a U shaped booth and I sat at the end once everyone was in. And to my surprise, Dimitri sat right across from me. I sighed mentally. This Christmas was going to be like watching a slug cross a sidewalk.

Dinner went by in a daze. Well for me it did. Everyone else was talking and laughing. I only spoke when someone spoke directly to me or asked a question. And that someone was mostly Tasha. Other than that I was in my own little world playing absent mindedly with my pasta or stirring my straw around in my water until it was time to leave.

Once back at the house I ditched the group as quickly as I could for my room, while everyone else stayed downstairs to watch TV. I caught a glance of concern on Lissa's face before I went upstairs. No doubt she wanted to question me about it. But I wasn't going to worry about it right now. The day had been long and I just wanted to sleep. Once I reached my room I peeled off the dress, washed my face and threw on an old comfy T-shirt before falling into bed. I was asleep before my head even hit the pillow.

**Dimitri's Point of View**

I couldn't move. I couldn't even breathe. I don't know what I would have done if someone had questioned me about that song. I would have to say something, wouldn't I? Why wasn't anyone saying anything?

Wait, they were. I could hear people talking but I couldn't understand their words. Nothing made sense… not even the look on Rose's face. It's wasn't smug. She wasn't happy about sharing our secret (no matter how subtly) with the group. She was sad as well.

She stood up and I snapped out of my daze. I kept my eyes focused on her, waiting for an answer as to what was going through her head when she decided to share that song with everyone. She shook her head and cleared her throat. She was bailing. She was leaving me to deal with this mess!

"Thanks guys, but, um, I'm really not feeling well. I think I should go lie down." She looked at the room at large with a slight nod in the way of an exit. I was starting to panic inwardly. They were going to ask about the song, and I wouldn't be able to keep this charade up with Tasha anymore.

"Rose, are you okay?" Lissa asked. "Maybe I could-"

"No!" She all but shouted. I snuck a glance at Tasha and tried to find any sign that she caught on. She was looking pleasantly up at the exchange between the girls. Aside from the fact that she was sitting up a little more erect than usual, she looked perfectly fine.

"I mean no thanks Liss. I'll be fine. I think I just need to go lay down. No need to waste your energy," Rose said after a beat.

She didn't have any type of ailment, that much was obvious. To me anyway. Lissa continued to look at her with a worried expression before finally saying, "Oh, okay. Well let me know if you need anything."

"You know I will" she said throwing her guitar strap over her shoulder and bounding up the stairs and out of sight.

I sat paralyzed, waiting for the room to turn on me. Only when I looked around, they were caught up in small talk with one another. Tasha was chatting with Lissa and Christian, and Eddie was rolling his eyes at some asinine comment that Adrian had made. I began to calm down a bit. So I wasn't caught? No, I was being ridiculous. There was no way anyone would connect that song to a past that only Rose and I knew about.

I slowly rose from my spot on the couch and moved to the window. I could see past the snow to a figure moving away from the house and felt myself smile. Rose sure knew how to escape when she was feeling trapped. Unfortunately I wasn't so lucky.

In that instant I would have given anything to be moving in step right next to her, in the freezing weather, than surrounded be all my friends in this warm house. I could have been in the middle of nowhere and felt at home with Rose.

I was saved from my thoughts by Tasha's hand snaking into mine, as she came to stand beside me.

"Hey we are going to head out to grab a bite. I want to go give Rose that dress." She looked at me then… really looked at me. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Fine," I said faking my best smile and squeezed her hand. "Just tired from the drive."

"Well, I won't let them keep us out too late, especially with Rose feeling under the weather." She glanced at the rest of the group and smiled again. "It's great to see everyone again." She seemed to slip into a silent spell of nostalgia for a minute then shook herself out of it. "The dress! I hope she likes it!" She hurried up to our room to grab the dress and I sighed as I focused beyond the window once more.

That stupid dress had been giving me nightmares since Tasha found it in the store. It was black, strapless, form fitting, and it breathed Rose. I could see her in it and imagined helping her out of it.

That damn dress had caused great sex for three days and guilty sex for the rest. I couldn't look at myself, knowing I had imagined Rose when I was with Tasha. Their bodies felt completely different but I had gotten really good at pretending.

"Rose isn't answering the door." Tasha sounded worried as she hurried back down the stairs.

Everyone was alert at once. "What do you mean?" Lissa asked, panic rising in her voice. She headed up the stairs and a moment later was back down. "She isn't there." Christian drew her near in order to help calm her a bit.

"She couldn't have gotten far." Eddie said grabbing his jacket. He sounded as if her knew what was going on.

"What if someone took her?" Lissa was starting to breath heavily, breaking away from Christian and heading for the stairs.

"She went north." I said quietly. Everyone looked at me questioningly. I pointed out the window as if that were explanation enough, and apparently it was since Adrian chuckled and Eddie rolled his eyes and headed out the front door.

"Why didn't you stop her?" Tasha said looking up at me.

I shrugged, "It's none of our business, Tasha. If she wants to go workout, why should we 'stop' her?"

"You're right." She smile quickly and kissed me, before heading back up the stairs to get ready.

When I was sure she was ready I headed up to get ready myself. The room was big enough for two people to get ready in, but I kind of just wanted my space. As I sat on the bed, I buried my head in my hands, and allowed my mind to go back to that last conversation between Rose and I.

"_Rose we have to talk." I was fighting to keep the emotion out of my voice and off my face. This was killing me to do but I knew in the long run it would be best… for both of us. _

"_What's up, comrade?"_

_Her little joke seemed to be a knife stabbing into my heart. I would miss her jokes. "Please, don't make jokes, Rose. Not right now."_

"_What's going on?" Her voice was serious then. She could sense the danger and in that moment I wanted to hold her. To tell her it was for the best. But I couldn't. I had to do it this way._

"_Tasha offered-" I started._

"_Yeah I know what she offered. But you're Lissa's guardian. You're…" her voice broke a bit. "You're _not_ her guardian anymore are you?"_

"_Rose, I'm sorry-" As I said the words I could hear how hollow they were. I was past sorry. I felt numb to everything now. The numb feeling was better than the pain in my chest that could bring me to my knees._

_She held up her hand to stop me. "It's too late to apologize." She turned and walked away from me. Down the hall and out of my life._

Until now.

The knock on the bedroom door caused me to jump. "Are you ready, Dimka? Rose is back!" Tasha sounded happy. She always sounded happy, like being with me was the best thing in her life. I wish I could be that happy with her as well.

"Almost." I called. I threw some nicer clothes on and hurried out the door.

I don't know how it happened but somehow Rose ended up between Tasha and I and the size of the car got significantly smaller. Her arm and leg were brushing me slightly, but the tiniest touch from her might as well have been a full on touch. My nerve endings were raw where she was touching and I was in my own personal hell.

As soon as we were out of the car I felt like I could breathe again. I made a point to not look at Rose in the dress, since I really didn't trust myself to drink in the sight of her body in it.

As if fate wanted to torture me, Rose ended up directly across from me at the restaurant. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't help sneaking glances every chance I could at her. Rose was the epitome of perfection in that dress. The black contrasted perfectly with the almost color of her skin and the darkness of her hair. I felt myself falling in love with her all over again.

Then, I reminded myself of the woman who had purchased the dress and forced myself to converse with Tasha, doing my best to ignore Rose as she picked at her food and played with the straw in her drink.

When we arrived back at the house Rose excused herself to bed as soon as we walked through the door and I silently thanked God. I wouldn't have been able to form any time of coherent conversation with her in that dress. As I pretended to listen to whatever Tasha and Christian were talking about I counted down the days until we left in my mind and wondered if I would actually make it without losing my mind.

--------

**The Saltwater Room Lyrics **

_I opened my eyes last night and saw you in the low light  
Walking down by the bay, on the shore, staring up at the planes that aren't there anymore  
I was feeling the night grow old and you were looking so cold  
Like an introvert, I drew my over shirt  
Around my arms and began to shiver violently before  
You happened to look and see the tunnels all around me  
Running into the dark underground  
All the subways around create a great sound  
To my motion fatigue: farewell  
With your ear to a seashell  
You can hear the waves in underwater caves  
As if you actually were inside a saltwater room_

_Time together is just never quite enough  
When you and I are alone, I've never felt so at home  
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?  
We need time, only time  
When were apart whatever are you thinking of?  
If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone?  
So tell me darling, do you wish we'd fall in love?  
All the time, all the time_

_Can you believe that the crew has gone and wouldn't let me sign on?  
All my islands have sunk in the deep, so I can hardly relax or even oversleep  
I feel as if I were home some nights when we count all the ship lights  
I guess Ill never know why sparrows love the snow  
Well turn off all of the lights and set this ballroom aglow_

_*So tell me darling, do you wish we'd fall in love?*  
Time together is just never quite enough  
When you and I are alone, I've never felt so at home  
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?  
We need time, only time  
When were apart whatever are you thinking of?  
If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone?  
So tell me darling, do you wish we'd fall in love?  
All the time, all the time_

_Time together is just never quite enough  
When were apart whatever are you thinking of?  
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?  
So tell me darling, do you wish we'd fall in love?  
All the time_

* * *

**Sooo… Hate it? Love it? Have any suggestions? The only way to let me know is to, that's right, you guessed it, review!**

**Also, head on over to my profile and check out the songs 'Apologize' and 'The Saltwater Room' and don't forget to take a look at Rose's Black Dress! :)**

**Oh and just another reminder: ****Thank Feefella!!!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:**** Hey! Thanks guys for all the wonderful reviews! You all are great! :) Anyway, here's the next Chapter so I'll quit talking!**

**Disclaimer:****I don't own the amazing VA series! Richelle Mead does!**

**UPDATE: GUYS, SERIOUSLY. I LOVE WRITING THIS STORY AND ALL, BUT IF YA'LL DON'T START THANKING FEEFELLA FOR HER DIMITRI POINT OF VIEWS, THEN WE ARE GOING TO STOP WRITING PERIOD. I HATE TO BE THIS WAY BUT SHE DESERVES WAY MORE CREDIT THAN I DO. FEEFELLA IS A WONDERFUL WRITER AND DESERVES TO BE PRAISED FOR IT. SHE IS, AND I QUOTE "SERIOUSLY LOSING MOTIVATION TO KEEP DOING THESE..." YA'LL DONT WANT THAT NOW DO YOU? SO, TO WRAP THIS UP, START THANKING FEEFELLA OR THIS IS THE END OF LAST CHRISTMAS.**

**Thanks,**

**Martina**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

**Rose's Point of View**

_His fingers slid across my bare back leaving paths of electricity behind them, then lightly over my stomach as I turned instinctively toward his touch. The explorative fingers dipped into the elastic of my boy shorts, teasingly and I moaned, arching my back, trying to get closer to his touch. It was a power struggle and I knew I was losing as I heard him chuckle against the sensitive area on my neck. He moved back up a few inches and our lips met. It was my turn for power. One of my hands tangled itself into his silky brown hair while the other traveled down his back, loving the feel of the muscles tensing under my fingers. _

_Wrapping my legs around his waist, I rolled us over to where I was straddling him. My lips moved from his mouth and across his jaw line which emitted a growl from deep in his throat. As I sat up, I ran my hands over the muscles on his chest and stomach. I needed to remember everything about this moment. From what he looked like to what he felt like. His hands were resting in the curve of my hips as I looked down into the dark depths of his brown eyes. _

"_Rose, I lo-"_

I jerked up in bed breathing hard and sweating. What the hell?! I was dreaming that Dimitri and I were just about to get it on! Normally it would have been Lissa and Christian's love life that woke me from my sleep, but this time it was all my own imagination.

I ran a hand through my damp hair and tried to calm my breathing with no such luck. My skin felt on fire as if Dimitri had actually been here touching and kissing me.

Groaning, I started to kick the covers off but just got my legs more tangled up in them. Once I had freed myself, I went downstairs to get something to drink.

Opening the refrigerator door, I reached in and grabbed a water and walked over to the window. It was the middle of the night for us but day for humans. I watched as the bright sun glistened blindly off the snow for a while as I let my mind wander about the dream until I heard a noise.

I jumped around ready for any possible threat.

It was Dimitri. He was standing just about a foot behind me. Damn. My ninja skills were lacking. He wasn't wearing a shirt, and his chest seemed to look even better than it had in my dream.

"Shit Dimitri! You scared me." I said.

"Sorry." He replied looking me over and then away. I then remembered that I was just wearing a T-shirt and underwear, which was half exposed due to the smallish size of mentioned T-shirt. Not that I minded him seeing me like this. Hell, he'd seen me naked before. But it was strange now that he was with Tasha. I felt myself blush as the dream I had just moments before re-enter my mind.

"Uh, well, um, I guess I'll see you later." I said turning to go back upstairs, trying to make a quick escape.

"Rose, wait." Dimitri grabbed my arm just as I was about to walk away. As soon as his skin made contact with mine, it was like I had been electrocuted. I gasped and he immediately dropped his hand. He had felt it too. I could see it in his eyes.

"Y-yeah?" I asked a little shakily.

It took him a minute to answer. "Nothing. Never mind."

"Oh, okay then. Well, night." I didn't stay long enough for him to respond, but I thought I heard something that sounded vaguely like "Goodnight Roza".

Roza. That's what he called me when he was feeling affectionately towards me. I sighed as I climbed back into bed and thought of all the times we had had together as I fell back into a dreamless sleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When I awoke a few hours later, I slowly trudged to my bathroom to get ready for the day. After a hot shower I was more awake and alert. I put on my favorite jeans and tank top and threw my hair into a ponytail before heading downstairs.

I walked in the kitchen to see Lissa and Tasha sitting at the table as Christian whipped up something on the stove. Eddie and Dimitri were nowhere in sight.

"Morning Rose." Lissa greeted me. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah it was alright I guess." I answered yawning.

"Lissa and I were just talking about what time we should leave for the mall." Tasha said interrupting mine and Lissa's conversation. She had the tendency to do that a lot.

"The mall?" I asked stupidly turning to Lissa. She laughed at my expression.

"Yes Rose, the mall. You know the place where we go-"

"Liss, I know what the mall is." I said grinning back at her. "So what time are we leaving? And who's all going?" I have to admit, I was a little excited. We haven't been shopping in a while.

"Well we were thinking about leaving around seven since it will only take about forty-five minutes to get there. That way we'll get there around eight in the morning, human time. And everyone is going." Lissa explained. I heard Christian groan in protest.

"Speaking of everyone, where's Eddie?" I wasn't going to ask about Dimitri. I still felt weird about the dream.

"Oh Eddie and Dimitri went to talk with Alberta." Tasha responded even though I wasn't even looking at her.

I groaned mentally and tried not to roll my eyes. Thankfully, Christian saved me from saying something that I shouldn't. "Breakfast is served." He said as he set two plates that were overflowing with bacon, eggs, pancakes, and an assortment of fruits in front of Lissa and Tasha. "Rose, do you want some too? Never mind, I don't even know why I asked. Of course you do."

I laughed. "Thanks Christian." A couple of seconds later, he set a plate in front of me that had more food on it that Tasha and Lissa's combined.

When I was just about to finish my food, Eddie and Dimitri walked through the front door.

"I was starting to worry about you." Tasha teased as she got up from the table and ran over to hug Dimitri.

And there went the rest of my appetite. "Oh, please." I mumbled to myself before I got up to wash my plate.

"Rose, Adrian said he wanted to talk to you about something." Eddie told me.

"Did he say what it was about?"

"Nope."

I put on my coat and got ready to walk out the door. "Great. Well, if I'm not back in thirty minutes, have somebody come check on me." I joked. No doubt whatever Adrian wanted to talk to me about, he wouldn't give up the chance to try and seduce me.

As I was walking towards Adrian's room, I stuffed my hands in my pockets and thought about what it was that he wanted to talk to me about. I couldn't think of anything.

I reached his door and knocked. A few seconds later, he opened the door. "Little Dhampir!" He welcomed me. I coughed and waved my hand in front of my face, trying to clear some of the clove cigarette smoke as I walked in. I swear the Fire Department could use his room to teach young kids how to stop, drop and roll.

"Adrian, I heard you wanted to speak with me." I kept my voice formal so maybe then he would take whatever this was about seriously.

"That I do, please, have a seat." He waved his arm forward. I chose to sit in an armchair rather than the couch.

"Okay, what is it?" I said. I didn't feel like playing around.

"Ah, you want this to be short and sweet."

"Exactly. So you better start talking."

"Fine. You are still in love with Belikov." He stated it as if it was clear as day.

It took me a minute to actually absorb what he had said. "Um. Adrian, I hate to burst your bubble, but, no I'm not." I tried to lie unsuccessfully.

He chuckled. "Lies Rose! It's a lie! I can see it in your face and your aura."

"All right. So what if I am? I can't do anything about it. He's with Tasha. _And_ we're both Guardians."

"Well, lucky for you, I have a plan."

I started laughing. "Oh do you now? And just what would this 'plan' be?" I said using my fingers for quotation marks in the air.

"You make him jealous."

"And how would I do that?" I had an uncomfortable feeling of what he was going to say next.

He feinted shock then grinned. "Well by dating me of course."

"Pretending to date you." I corrected him.

"Whatever you say. So, we'll do it?" He sounded excited.

I thought about it. Dimitri broke my heart. Shouldn't he feel some pain too? I knew it was wrong to use Adrian like this, but _he_ did offer himself for the job.

"Well what makes you think it'll work? Again, like I said, he is _with_ Tasha. I wouldn't be surprised if she popped out a kid here in nine months." I shook my head to get rid of that particular mental image.

"Because you haven't seen his aura when you're around him. It lights up like a ton of fireworks going off." He enlightened me.

"That could mean anything." I said trying to make up an excuse. What the hell did it mean anyway? Dimitri couldn't still love me. He left me…

"I don't think so." Adrian interrupted my mental yakking. "Come on, you know you want to!"

That was the problem. I _did_ want to. But it was wrong in so many ways. "Fine. We'll give it a try." I muttered reluctantly. "Wait, why?"

"Why what?"

"Why would you agree to do this? You don't have some hidden agenda do you?"

"Rose, I just want to see you happy. It's more than I can say for Belikov, but, if he makes you happy then I'd like to help."

I glared at him for a heartbeat longer. "Fine."

Adrian made a sound that could only be called a whoop of joy. "You won't regret this Rose."

Oh yes. Yes I would. "Yeah, whatever. So what do I tell everyone we talked about?"

"The truth. We'll close to it. Tell them that… I wanted to ask you out to dinner tonight."

"I thought the guy was supposed to come to the girl." I snickered. "And even if you did ask me that, I would have to say no because we're going to the mall later." Then something clicked. "Wait, why don't you come to the mall with us?"

He smiled. "Oh, Rose, I thought you'd never ask." He sighed placing his hand over his heart.

"Shut up. Just be ready and at the house at seven. And if it's not too much to ask, can you try to not smell like alcohol and smoke?" I stood up and headed toward the door.

"Anything for you Little Dhampir." He replied with a gallant bow.

"The Queen will not be happy when she hears about this." I warned him.

He shrugged. "She'll deal. It's not real no matter how much I wish it was."

I saw sadness in his eyes when he said that and felt a stab of guilt. "Adrian, maybe this isn't a good idea-"

Adrian grabbed my hand and placed it to his lips. "Don't worry about me Little Dhampir. I'd do anything for you."

"I know." I sighed.

"Now run along. I'm sure everyone is wondering what I'm doing with you." He chuckled. I rolled my eyes at him.

I left his room after that and walked back home wondering the whole time there if this plan would actually work.

When I walked through the door everyone turned to look at me.

"What?" I asked. "Did I grow a third eye or something while I was gone?"

Lissa giggled. "No Rose. We were just wondering what was taking you so long. I was about to come and get you. So what did Adrian want?"

_Time to start acting Rose,_ I told myself. "Nothing." I said with a small smile. "He just wanted to take me to dinner tonight, but of course I couldn't since we're going to the mall. So I invited him to come with us instead." I finished smiling.

"Wait. Did I hear you right? Did you, Rose Hathaway, just say you invited Adrian Ivashkov to go to the mall with us?" Christian sounded shocked beyond belief. Scratch that. _Everyone_ looked shocked beyond belief. I would too if I had been in my right mind.

"Yes Christian, that's what I said the first time, isn't it?" I was being a smart ass now.

"I must be dreaming…" He mumbled.

"Rose are you sure you're feeling okay?" Lissa asked.

"Liss, I'm fine. Aren't you always the one to tell me that I need to start dating again? And I know you've said countless times that I should give Adrian a chance. Well I decided that you're right." I smiled at her. "Now, if you all don't mind, I'm going to go work out a bit. Just let me know if you need anything."

Eddie, Dimitri and Tasha still hadn't said a word. Tasha and Eddie still looked utterly surprised. As for Dimitri, his expression was blank, unreadable.

"Oh okay." Lissa managed to get out.

I gave a small wave to everybody before I ran upstairs to put on some loose training pants and then ran back down to the basement.

I turned the stereo up loud and started to do a warm up jog on the treadmill. As I ran, I started to think of all the things that could go wrong if this plan went south. I sighed. I just hoped Adrian and I could pull it off. Adrian would do fine. It was me I was worried about.

**Dimitri's Point of View**

I had been staring at the patterns on the darkened ceiling for hours. Sleeping in strange places was always hard to do, sleeping in the same house as Rose was nearly impossible. The sound of Tasha's light breathing usually helped me get to sleep; now it was just irritating.

I tried focusing on the sound of the heater blowing warm air into the room, that's when I heard it. It was a creak on the stairs. To an untrained ear, it was merely the house settling. But it was someone on the stairs, and though I couldn't tell if they were coming up them or going down them, I still felt the instinctive pull to investigate.

I slipped quietly from the bed and padded softly to the door. Pulling it open quietly, I peered out into the brightly lit hallway. Though it was the middle of the day for humans, it was our night. Looking over, I saw that Lissa and Christian's door was shut, but as I moved down the hall, I found myself looking into Rose's empty room. The sheets on her bed were a tangled mess. She'd had a nightmare.

I continued down the hall, then down the stairs. I peered around the corner and saw Rose standing by the window. I made my way closer, noticing she was hardly wearing anything. The T-shirt barely covered her backside and I felt my breath catch, she was perfect even in the middle of the night.

My breath catching had been what alerted her to my presence and she turned around quickly. I was too close, that was obvious as she took an instinctive step back.

"Shit Dimitri! You scared me." She said.

"Sorry," I said ad I looked her over and turned away, feeling ashamed of myself. I had seen her naked before but even without a lust spell; Rose's body just seemed to do something to me. I felt like a teenage boy all over again with her around.

"Uh, well, um, I guess I'll see you later." She started to make her way past me.

"Rose wait-" I grabbed her arm and as soon as I had I felt a jolt go through me. The feeling caused me to let go of her almost immediately.

"Y-yeah?" He voice was unsteady.

What could I say to her at this moment? That every second I spent with her was one second more of true happiness? That I had made a mistake, and there were times like now that I would have given it all up to be with her? That I loved her?

I couldn't say any of those things to her, she had told me before that it was too late to apologize, and now it was too late to go back. To start over. I had made my bed in this grave and I would be buried in it.

"Nothing. Never mind."

"Oh, okay then. Well, night." She walked away quickly as I hung my head.

"Goodnight, Roza," I mumbled to myself.

Once she was gone, I took her place by the window. Staring out into the bright white of the snow filled neighborhood. I thought back to every moment I had shared with Rose. From the first time I had seen her in Portland, so young and defiant, to the last time I saw her, walking away from me when I had told her about Tasha.

I stared out the window with my thoughts on Rose until dusk.

-----------

"So, can I ask you something, you know, in confidence?" Eddie and I were walking back to the house after meeting with Alberta to discuss the trip to the mall.

"Personal or guardian related?" I wasn't sure where this was going.

"A bit of both actually." He seemed distracted, and a tad bit nervous.

"Okay."

"How do you handle your guardian duties while… being in love?"

I stopped. "What are you talking about?"

Eddie faced me directly. "Well if you love someone, that you can't be with, how do you keep them out of your head while you're working? When you're whole life is about guarding someone?"

"Are you in love with Christian, Eddie?" I had to be blunt here.

"What? Oh God, no!" Eddie looked panicked. "I was talking about someone else! A girl! Someone that I can't see very often. She's not exactly part of the group, so when I don't see her, I kind of can't stop thinking about her."

"I really don't know what to tell you, I'm sorry." Poor kid. I couldn't begin to tell him how much I could relate.

"Oh I just figured since, you know…"

"Since what?"

Eddie shook his head. "Never mind."

I was about to ask him what he knew, when Adrian Ivashkov showed up.

"Eddie," He said with a smile. He turned to me and nodded politely, "Guardian Belikov."

"Prince Ivashkov," I said stiffly back. I had to be polite but he and I both knew the pleasantries were forced.

"Hey, can you ask Rose to come see me when you get back?" Adrian asked keeping his attention on Eddie.

"Yeah, sure." Eddie said pleasantly.

"Thanks! Well, see you two later." He headed off toward, where I could only assume he lived and Eddie and I continued on our way in silence.

When we got back we were greeted by the entire house. Lissa, Christian, Rose and Tasha were all sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast. Tasha beamed as we walked through the door.

"I was starting to worry about you." Tasha teased as she got up from the table and hurried over to hug me. She stood there with her arms wrapped around me and as I hugged her back I glanced up at Rose and she looked at her food with disgust before getting up to wash her plate in the sink.

"Rose, Adrian said he wanted to talk to you about something." Eddie informed her walking up to the counter.

"Did he say what it was about?" She didn't look up from the plate.

"Nope."

She glanced at Tasha briefly then made her way to the doorway, grabbing her coat. "Great. Well, if I'm not back in thirty minutes, have somebody come check on me." It was supposed to be a joke, but I would if she wasn't back.

As she left, Tasha released me and went to sit back with Lissa and Christian. Eddie made his way to his room, looking guilty and I wondered who exactly he was in love with. Someone not part of the "group"? It had to have been a Moroi from court.

I shook off the thought and headed for the stairs. I wanted to get a little time to myself to compose myself. As I got to the foot of the stairs Tasha noticed me.

"Where are you going, Dimka?"

"To pick up the room, the bed still needs to be made." I continued up the stairs and heard her telling Lissa and Christian about how much of a neat freak I was. I hurried down the hall and closed the door leaning against the wood.

Why was Adrian asking to see Rose? Why was she rushing off to go see him? Why was I such a hypocrite? I couldn't sit here and hate the idea of her with someone else when I was sharing a bed with the woman I had chosen over her. I had to pull myself together and suck it up.

I made my way back down stairs just in time for Rose to get back.

"What?" she asked. That's when I noticed we were all staring at her expectantly. "Did I grow a third eye or something while I was gone?"

Lissa giggled. "No Rose. We were just wondering what was taking you so long. I was about to come and get you. So what did Adrian want?"

"Nothing." She said with a small smile. She looked like someone with a happy secret. "He just wanted to take me to dinner tonight, but of course I couldn't since we're going to the mall. So I invited him to come with us instead." The smile never left her lips or faltered. I felt my heart sinking in my chest.

"Wait. Did I hear you right? Did you, Rose Hathaway, just say you invited Adrian Ivashkov to go to the mall with us?" Christian sounded as shocked as everyone felt.

"Yes Christian, that's what I said the first time, isn't it?" Her tone was playful and mocking, and she seemed happy. Genuinely happy.

"I must be dreaming…" He mumbled.

I wished I was, I wished I was having a horrible nightmare. I could have handled her dating some random Moroi boy that harbored nothing more than physical attraction for her. I couldn't handle Adrian Ivashkov and his publicly displayed love for her.

"Rose are you sure you're feeling okay?" Lissa asked.

"Liss, I'm fine. Aren't you always the one to tell me that I need to start dating again? And I know you've said countless times that I should give Adrian a chance. Well I decided that you're right." She smiled at her best friend, reassuringly. "Now, if you all don't mind, I'm going to go work out a bit. Just let me know if you need anything."

Eddie and Tasha still hadn't said a word, and I didn't think I would ever be able to speak. Rose looked at each person in the room, and when her eyes landed on my face, I fought to look indifferent. I tried to keep my mind on the upcoming trip to the mall, and then I remembered Rose had invited Adrian along and wanted to hit something.

"Oh okay." Lissa managed to get out.

Rose excused herself with a wave and headed up to her room briefly then hurried down to the basement, wearing workout clothes.

Tasha excused herself to our room to lay down for a bit and I made my way to the top of the basement steps and sat down. I could hear the music drifting up from the room below, and felt truly sad for the first time since I had left Rose all that time ago.

* * *

**Review to let Feefella and I know what you think!**

**UPDATE: GUYS, SERIOUSLY. I LOVE WRITING THIS STORY AND ALL, BUT IF YA'LL DON'T START THANKING FEEFELLA FOR HER DIMITRI POINT OF VIEWS, THEN WE ARE GOING TO STOP WRITING PERIOD. I HATE TO BE THIS WAY BUT SHE DESERVES WAY MORE CREDIT THAN I DO. FEEFELLA IS A WONDERFUL WRITER AND DESERVES TO BE PRAISED FOR IT. SHE IS, AND I QUOTE "SERIOUSLY LOSING MOTIVATION TO KEEP DOING THESE..." YA'LL DONT WANT THAT NOW DO YOU? SO, TO WRAP THIS UP, START THANKING FEEFELLA OR THIS IS THE END OF LAST CHRISTMAS.**

**Thanks,**

**Martina**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** **Thanks guys for all the great reviews and thanking Feefella as well. :) Anyway, I don't have much to say, sooo… enjoy the chapter!**

**Oh, before I forget, there is NO Dimitri Point of View for this chapter. :(**

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing. Everything belongs to Richelle Mead.**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**Rose's Point of View**

I had just plunged my silver stake into the "heart" of one of our many practice dummies for the hundredth time when Lissa came down the basement stairs.

"Rose? Do you want to head up and start getting ready?" She asked. "You've been down here for three hours. Aren't you exhausted?"

Three hours? I turned to look at the time displayed on the stereo. 5:07 a.m. Sure enough, I had been down here for a little over three hours. "Sorry Liss. I didn't know I had been working out that long." I panted wiping strands of hair off my damp forehead.

She laughed. "Well you have been. Now come on. You look like you are in desperate need of a shower."

I laughed with her. "You know, you're right. I probably smell like something has died. No one is going to want to sit by this in the car." I gestured down to my now dampened clothes.

Lissa shook her head. "Rose, _anybody_ would sit next to you even if you hadn't had a shower in days."

"Yeah, well we aren't going to test that theory." I replied walking with her up the stairs. I stopped in the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. Christian, Eddie and Dimitri were watching something on TV and they all glanced up when I walked in the room. Lissa walked over and took her seat next to Christian on the couch. Tasha wasn't anywhere in sight. That was odd. She was normally attached to Dimitri's hip.

When I had finished my water I went upstairs to my room to get ready for our trip to the mall. I took a quick shower to wash off all the sweat that I had accumulated during my exercising. After I got out, I dried my hair and went my closet to find something to wear. The thing about going into public with humans was we had to blend in. We Dhampirs wouldn't have that much of an issue. It was the Moroi that would. They stood out more with their slimness and pale skin. Oh, ands let's not forget the fangs.

I had to find something that would let me blend in, but let me fight if we happened to run into any Strigoi. I finally settled for a pair of old broken in jeans and a long sleeved thermal shirt. I pulled my hair into a high bun, remembering that Dimitri had once told me to wear my hair up to show off my _molnija_ marks instead of cutting my long, thick hair.

_Rose_, Lissa came through the bond. _Can you help me decide what to wear?_

Once I made sure I looked alright, I went across the hall to her bedroom to find a ton of clothes thrown on the bed. "I can't find anything!" She exclaimed throwing her hands in the air.

"Whoa Liss, we're just going to the mall, not a wedding." I said trying to calm her. "Just wear black slacks and that purple blouse." I pointed to the piece of cloth that was hidden under a dress.

"I don't know how I would live without you Rose." Lissa sighed as she grabbed up the clothes and ran into her bathroom. She emerged a few minutes later looking spectacular. "What about my hair?"

I cocked my head at her. "Pull half of it up." I decided. She nodded her head and disappeared back into the bathroom. She came out looking exactly like I thought she would.

"So?" She asked.

"You look great!" I smiled.

"Good." She replied with a grin of her own. "Now let's go. I think everyone is almost ready."

We walked out of her room just as Tasha was walking out of the guest room. "Aw, Lissa you look adorable!" Tasha beamed.

"Thanks! So do you-"

I ignored the rest of their conversation as we went downstairs. I caught myself once again thinking about Adrian's plan and I started to wonder what all he had planned to make Dimitri jealous. As if thinking about the devil had summoned him, he came through the door just as we reached the bottom of the stairs. Without knocking… again.

"There's my Little Dhampir!" He shouted as he came towards me with open arms. I put on my man-eating smile as he got closer and threw his arms around my waist. "You better hug me back and fast, _he's_ looking," he whispered in my ear. I responded right away by throwing my arms around his neck. When I pulled away a few seconds later Adrian bent down and placed a kiss on my cheek just before I stepped back all together.

"So, are we all ready?" I inquired with a smile on my face trying to avoid making eye contact with Dimitri.

"We're just waiting on Alberta." Eddie informed us looking out the window. "Wait, she's pulling up now."

"Alright, let's go get this done and over with." Christian said clapping his hands together.

After we all had our coats on we headed out to the vehicle. The Court had let us borrow a black Chevrolet Suburban which could hold over nine people. Dimitri ended up driving with Eddie in the passenger seat, Christian, Lissa and Tasha in the middle and Alberta, Adrian and me in the very back.

As soon as we drove out of the Wards, a headache hit me almost instantly. But I didn't say anything, I just gritted my teeth and closed my eyes tightly until I felt the control I'd learned before slowly slip into place.

Lissa, Christian, Eddie, Adrian and Alberta knew about me seeing ghosts, getting horrible headaches when I wasn't inside Wards, taking darkness away from Lissa, and that when Strigoi were near, I got nauseous, but no one was concerned about me going insane at the time.

Everyone made small talk as we drove to the mall in Pittsburgh. I wanted to talk to Adrian more about this plan, but now wasn't really the right time. So I looked out the side window and talked very little with everybody else.

Forty-five minutes later, Dimitri drove into the mall's parking lot. Once he found a parking space, we all got out. Dimitri, Eddie, Alberta and I instantly went into Guardian mode, scanning the area for any immediate threat even though the sun was out. It was just a normal day, people running around trying to get their Christmas shopping done.

Dimitri clearly took up the head Guardian position. "Rose, Eddie, you two will be near guard." He barked. "Alberta and I will be far guard." We all nodded our heads in agreement. Once he said all was clear, we headed inside to get out of the cold.

We drifted from store to store, Lissa and Tasha buying something in almost every single one. Christian looked bored out of his mind, Eddie's eyes were scrutinized each little detail while Dimitri and Alberta were somewhere behind us. Adrian stuck to my side like glue, sometimes with his arm around my shoulders, other times around my waist. And every move Adrian made, I couldn't help but wonder if it was making Dimitri jealous. Though he probably didn't even notice with the way he looks out for danger.

The time came when we had to stop for lunch. I wasn't really hungry so I just grabbed a grilled chicken salad. Alberta said she wasn't hungry at all and that she was going to examine the rest of the mall, and Eddie decided he would go with her. Tasha made Dimitri sit down and eat even though he protested that he had a job to do. Adrian didn't eat anything but sat beside me with his arm threw lazily around my shoulders. Lissa and Christian were splitting a basket of French fries.

"Oh Rose, I meant to ask you how your headache and, um, other things were." Lissa said.

I just shrugged my shoulders. "It's the same." I answered her looking up from playing with a piece of fake chicken. Gross.

Sadness crossed her features. "I'm sorry Rose-"

"Lissa." I said sternly looking her into her light jade eyes. "It is not your fault."

She looked away from my gaze. "But I feel like it is."

"Well it's not, so quit worrying about it." She didn't say anything else about it but I could still sense her guilt through the bond.

"So Little Dhampir, when are you going to try on some lingerie?" Adrian asked.

I laughed and lightly punched him in the arm. "Sorry, not today."

"Aw, come on! Why not?" He whined.

I gave him a 'are you serious?' look. He gave me one that said 'I'm just doing my part'. "You know why. I'm protecting you guys from evil Strigoi that want to eat you."

He scoffed. "It's daylight Rose."

"So? That doesn't mean anything." I told him. And it was true. It didn't mean anything. I of all people should know that. I got myself and four other people kidnapped by humans who worked with Strigoi.

Adrian must have seen the look on my face because of what he said next: "You're right. It doesn't mean anything. I'm sorry."

We all finished eating quietly after that. When we were done we went back to do more shopping. I swear, we had to have gone in every store in that mall. And to Adrian's amusement, we actually did go into Victoria's Secret. But to his utter disappointment, I didn't buy anything, however I did want to. Even though he picked up everything off the rack and held it up to me, trying to see what I looked like in it, I still said, "No". Tasha and Lissa both left with bags nonetheless. I could only imagine what was in Lissa's bag that would keep her and Christian (and unfortunately, me as well) up all night. And I didn't even want to envision what was in Tasha's bag. But I'm sure whatever it was, Dimitri would love her in it.

When we all got out of Victoria's Secret, Dimitri notified us that the sun was starting to set and we needed to head back to the car.

We were walking back through the mall and when we past the women's restroom, I got nauseous. Not the sick on your stomach nauseous, but my Strigoi nauseous. I patted my coat to make sure I had my silver stake with me.

"Guys, hang on a second. I need to use the bathroom before we leave." I said making an excuse to get in there. I knew I should have told Eddie, Alberta or at least Dimitri, but I didn't.

"Okay." Lissa said. "We'll be waiting out here."

"Alright. I'll be right back." Or so I hoped.

I walked in the restroom to find that nobody was in there. But the nauseous feeling had gotten stronger. I then realized that the window was open. And it was plenty big for somebody to crawl through.

I jumped up on the sink and peered out into the dark alley below. It took my eyes a second to adjust to the darkness but when they did, I didn't see anything right away. The restroom was on the first floor so it wasn't that far of a drop. Climbing up onto the window sill, I silently lowered myself to the ground below.

I placed my back against the wall and reached inside my coat for my silver stake as my eyes looked to the end of the alley where it made a sharp turn to the right. I silently scaled down the alley, keeping my back to the side of the building. When I reached the corner, I carefully peeked around the wall.

There, in another dark corner, was a male Strigoi with his back to me holding a woman that looked a few years older than me in his arms, drinking heavily from her neck.

I heard myself hiss lowly in anger and the Strigoi apparently did too as he turned his red ringed eyes on me. Damn. And there went my element of surprise. The Strigoi carelessly tossed the woman to the side and started to stride towards me.

Shit. Could my life possibly get any worse?


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:**** You guys are the best! Feefella and I love all of the wonderful reviews! They are what keep us going! :D **

**Also, Feefella wanted to ****inform everyone that she is currently obsessively listening to the Glee soundtrack... it has nothing to do with VA but she feels everyone should know. Lol. :)**

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own anything! It's ALL Richelle Meads!**

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**Chapter 6**

**Rose's Point of View**

I immediately braced myself to fight as the Strigoi reached me. I landed a kick to his chest, and he flew into the garbage cans that were lined against the side of the building. He grunted on impact and fell to the ground, momentarily dazed. With lightning fast speed, he was back on his feet with his red eyes glowing and lips curled back, baring his fangs at me. Strigoi were fast - they always were – but I was ready.

I dodged as he came at me, and I tried to get in another kick. Not exactly an inventive move, but I had found that a good kick held a lot more power than a punch. That, and keeping him at leg's length was safer than arms length. His next strike caught me on my left arm, and I staggered, just barely keeping my balance. My silver stake was still seized tightly in my right hand, but I needed an opening to his chest. An older, wiser Strigoi would have protected himself in a way that completely impaired the line of sight to his heart. This Strigoi must have been a young one only because he was doing an _okay_ job at keeping his heart blocked, and if I stayed alive long enough; I would most likely get a chance to stake him.

Just then, something behind me caught his attention for a moment and whatever it was I was grateful; just as long as it wasn't another Strigoi. This was my opportunity. I sprinted towards him as fast as I could, and with all my body weight, pierced the silver stake that was full of life into his heart. He screamed out in agony as we fell hard to the ground. I waited, stake still sunk into his heart, for a few more moments, making sure he was dead. When I was sure there was no life… or un-life left in him, I yanked the stake from his heart and picked myself up from the ground.

I turned around to see what had caught his eye, but there was nothing there. I then remembered the woman that he had been drinking from when I had found him. I rushed over to her slumped-over body and crouched down to flip her over onto her back. I placed my hand to her blood covered neck to see if I could feel a pulse. Nothing. Something shimmered beside me and I jerked my head around to see what it was.

It was a ghost. But not just any ghost. It was the ghost of the woman who was lying in front of me. She was cute despite the fact that she was practically transparent. She was short, like a foot shorter than me, with jet black spiky hair and cat green eyes. She looked like a little pixie.

But I didn't understand why I was just seeing her and not any other ghosts.

"Thank you." She whispered. "For saving me."

"But I didn't save you." I argued. "I mean your… dead," I managed to get out as I gestured to her body before us.

She shook her head at me. "No, you did save me. I have no idea what that evil creature was, but he said he was going to make me like him and his kind. I would rather be dead, really dead than be anything like that." She looked over my shoulder briefly at the dead Strigoi. "So, thank you."

"Well," I paused. "You're welcome." I said as I stood up. She looked down at her body for a few seconds, then back up at me.

She nodded a final farewell and turned to go.

"Wait!" I shouted. I had a question to ask her. "It was you, wasn't it? You distracted the Strigoi long enough for me to stake him."

She gave me a brilliant smile that was almost blinding even though she was barely there. The smile served as her answer right before she continued to walk down the alley, disappearing completely.

"Thank you." I spoke aloud although she was already gone. "You saved my life as well."

I heard footsteps behind me and I spun around, tensing myself to fight again in case it was another Strigoi. I should have known better though because I didn't get nauseous. It was Dimitri.

"Rose! Are you alright?" He asked as he rushed over to me, placing his hands on my shoulders and looking into my eyes. He had his Guardian face on but I could see the concern and worry behind his mask and in his eyes. He must have already taken in the sight around us when I had been talking to the ghost.

"Dimitri, I'm fine." I responded looking in his eyes, trying to assure him. I tried to take a step back to put some space between us, but he didn't let me move so much as an inch. He was still staring into my eyes, I guess to see if I was telling the truth.

Once he found what he was looking for, he took a deep breath, removed his hands and stepped back. He glanced around us once again and looked back at me. "Lissa went to check on you, and you weren't there. Then she saw that the window was open and heard something in the alley. When she rushed out to tell us, I…" He paused, "…we started to panic."

I looked away towards the wall. "I'm sorry. I knew I should have told someone, but I didn't."

"Why?" Dimitri asked, voice soft. "Wait. How did you even know the Strigoi was here?"

I glimpsed up at him and sighed before I answered. "Whenever Strigoi are around, I get nauseous. I got nauseous when we passed the bathroom, and you know me, I had to investigate."

He nodded his head in understanding but his eyebrows were pulled together as if he were thinking really hard about something. "Okay." He said slowly. "So who were you talking to when I came around the corner?" I looked down, not answering him. "Rose? Please tell me."

"You wouldn't believe me if I did." I mumbled.

"Try me." He said.

I took a deep breath and gazed straight into his eyes. "I was talking to a ghost." I looked and pointed to the woman's body next to us. "_Her_ ghost."

That was something he was definitely not expecting to hear. It took him a minute to respond, but when he did, it was easy to tell that he didn't believe me. "Rose, I'm sure it wasn't a ghost that you were talking to. It was probably just-"

I cut him off, furious. "I told you you wouldn't believe me. You think I'm crazy and it's just a figment of my imagination. Well if you don't believe me, ask Lissa, Christian, Eddie or even Alberta. At least _they_ believe me." I turned around and stormed off to where the Strigoi's body laid. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and called the number for the Alchemists.

Dhampirs learn about the Alchemists when we graduate but Moroi hardly ever. The Alchemists are people who help Moroi and Dhampirs stay hidden from humans. They have processes and methods that dispose of dead Strigoi bodies.

"Sydney speaking." A girl answered.

"Hi, I'm Guardian Rose Hathaway, and I would like to report that I just killed a Strigoi."

"Okay." Sydney said as if it were no big deal. "Where is the body to be found?"

I gave her the location of the mall and alley and hung up after she said someone would be there soon.

I put my phone back in my pocket and started back towards the open bathroom window to get back inside the mall.

"Rose wait." Dimitri stopped me by grabbing my arm. "I'm sorry." He apologized.

"For what?" I snapped at him. "For not believing me? Whatever. I'm sure I'd probably have a hard time believing someone too if they told me they were having conversations with ghosts."

"It's just a lot for me to take in." He explained.

"Well it wouldn't be if you had stayed." I shut my mouth as soon as those words left it. I didn't mean to say that. It just came out before I could stop it.

Before I could shove my foot any farther into my mouth, I continued walking to the window, not giving Dimitri a chance to say anything else. When I reached the window I hauled myself up and in, and gracefully landed on my feet. Thankfully no one was inside. Dimitri came in right after me. I walked over to the mirror to try and clean myself up before I walked out to face everyone. My hair was all messed up and my face was streaked with dirt and blood. I quickly fixed my hair and splashed water onto my face, cleaning it of the grime.

When I looked presentable enough, Dimitri opened the door for me and we walked through. I hoped no one saw him walk out because it would look a little weird to see both of us walking out of a women's restroom.

Lissa ran up to me and threw her arm around me. "Rose! I was so worried about you!"

"Shh, Liss. I'm fine. I'm right here." I whispered as I hugged her back.

She pulled back to look at me with tears in her eyes. "You should have told me!"

"I know, but I didn't. It would have only made a big scene. And I didn't want to worry you." I told her.

"Well it's too late for that." She grumbled.

"So I see." I laughed trying to get her to lighten up. Surprisingly, it worked. She smiled back at me.

"So… did you kill it?" She asked quietly as we walked to the others.

"Yeah." I whispered back. I wasn't going to tell her about the woman because it would only make her feel bad.

We had reached everyone else by then. Dimitri was talking to Alberta, probably about the Strigoi or asking if my ghost sightings were true. Eddie was standing off to the side looking for anymore danger as Christian came over and put an arm around Lissa. Adrian had been sitting with Tasha on a nearby bench but stood up quickly, heading over to where we stood. He threw his arms around me and made a big show about asking if I was okay. Leave it to Adrian to stay in character, Strigoi attack or not.

I played my part well, assuring my faux beau that I was fine, resting my arm around his hip. I made a point not to look at Dimitri and turned my head noticing Tasha had remained where she was on the bench, and was looking at me strangely. I couldn't tell what the look on her face was though.

"Well," Alberta said coming to stand beside me. "Let's try leaving again. Without running off to fight Strigoi this time." She looked at me when she said that last part. I smiled sheepishly at her.

Once everyone was ready, we walked out to the parking lot, Adrian still by my side.

"So my Little Dhampir saves the day, huh?" I just snorted in response. He laughed and put his arm around my shoulders.

I stepped out of his arm. I couldn't keep doing this tonight. "Not now Adrian. I'm really tired."

"We have to keep up our charade." He said trying to grab me again.

"I said no, Adrian. Besides, he isn't even looking." I nodded my head to where Dimitri was walking ahead of us, hands intertwined with Tasha's. "Also, I don't even think this plan is working."

"Of course it is. I'm the Aura reader, remember?"

"How could I ever forget?" I muttered as we reached the vehicle.

"Belikov!" Alberta shouted. "I'm driving back."

Dimitri nodded his head in acknowledgement. "Alright."

Everyone sat in the same place except this time Alberta drove while Dimitri was in the back with Adrian and me. And somehow, Dimitri ended up between us. I leaned my head back against the headrest and sighed. This was going to be a long forty-five minutes.

I managed not to fall asleep on the ride home, but I was literally dragging as I walked through the door. Everybody looked tired and sleepy as well, but I'm sure I looked the worst. Hell, I'd been up for over twenty-four hours _and_ fought and killed a Strigoi. So I was more than ready to collapse into bed.

Adrian had already left, but not before hugging me and giving me a kiss on my forehead. Alberta went to return the car and then proceed to her apartment. Eddie went straight to his room, and so did Lissa and Christian. That left Tasha, Dimitri and I downstairs.

"Well, night." I yawned as I turned to go upstairs. No way was I going to stand down there with those two awkwardly. Tasha was still looking at me weird, and if I wasn't so exhausted, I would have said something to her.

"Actually, we're right behind you." Tasha responded as she and Dimitri followed me up the steps.

I reached my room and was just about to close my door when I heard Dimitri say, "Goodnight Rose."

"Night, Dimitri." I said, not exactly loud enough for him to hear as I shut my door for the night.

**Dimitri's Point of View**

"What's taking her so long?" Christian said leaning against the wall, glaring at the bathroom door. I didn't like that he was whining but he had a point. She had been gone for quite some time.

"I'll go check on her," Adrian said heading for the door.

"No!" The word rang from both mine and Lissa's mouth. Everyone looked at me and I mentally kicked myself. Tasha was sitting on a bench looking at me with a weird look.

"_I'll_ go check on her," Lissa said glaring at Adrian. She turned on her heal and marched into the bathroom. I glanced at Alberta and Eddie who were both surveying the people around us, making sure none of them we Strigoi. I should have been more concerned with the potential Strigoi than with why Rose was taking forever. She was probably making herself presentable for Adrian.

I felt the jealousy spread trough me like poison coursing through my veins. I had been trying not the think about it but when even the slightest thought crept into my mind, the monster inside reared it's ugly head. The way he touched her, looked at her, even _smiled_ at her, made me want to kill him.

"She's not in there!" Lissa almost shouted as she ran out of the bathroom. "She's not in there but there are noises… like fighting or killing or oh God!" She buried her face in Christian's shoulder.

"Stay here! You two," I motioned at Alberta and Eddie, who were now on high alert, "get them to the car."

"No! We aren't going anywhere without Rose." Lissa said, tears in her eyes.

I would have protested but I didn't have time to waste. I rushed into the bathroom looking around. I spotted the open window and climbed through it, faster than I thought myself possible.

The alley was empty but I could feel someone there… then I heard her. Rose was talking to someone. I couldn't make out what she was saying but by the time I rounded the corner there was no one there besides Rose and two dead bodies. One Strigoi, one human. When I got close enough, Rose turned on me. The look in her eyes was one that said she would kill me, whatever it took. The look was gone as soon as she saw that it was me. When I saw her there among the two dead bodies, something in me snapped.

"Rose! Are you alright?" I asked, rushing over to her. I grabbed her shoulders and looked her square in the eye.

"Dimitri, I'm fine," she said, reassurance in her voice. I could tell she was trying to pull away but I was more concerned with making sure she wasn't injured. I would have denied this later, but right now I was worried and furious. I let her go finally, seeing that she was in fact, alright.

"Lissa went to check on you, and you weren't there. Then she saw that the window was open and heard something in the alley. When she rushed out to tell us, I…" I caught myself. I couldn't tell her that I started freaking out. I couldn't say _I was terrified that you would be dead and I would never see your face again_. "…we started to panic."

She looked away and focused her attention on the wall. "I'm sorry. I knew I should have told someone, but I didn't."

"Why?" I asked. At once I cursed my tone. I was letting my control slip. "Wait. How did you even know the Strigoi was here?"

She looked up at me briefly before looking down and sighing. "Whenever Strigoi are around, I get nauseous. I got nauseous when we passed the bathroom, and you know me, I had to investigate."

Oh.

I wanted to know how long this spider sense had existed. Had is happened in Spokane? Had she had it her entire life? Wait.

"Okay." I said cautiously. "So who were you talking to when I came around the corner?" She looked down, not answering me "Rose? Please tell me."

"You wouldn't believe me if I did." She mumbled.

"Try me." I had no idea why I was begging her to tell me her secret. Maybe it was because the only secret we used to have had been how we felt about each other.

She took a deep breath, bracing herself and looked me straight in the eye. "I was talking to a ghost." She pointed to the woman's body next to us. "_Her_ ghost."

I stood there. I was shocked, but also… worried. She was losing her mind. _No_, I thought to myself; _remember that you have seen enough in this world._ "Rose, I'm sure it wasn't a ghost that you were talking to. It was probably just-"

"I told you you wouldn't believe me." She cut me off furiously. I had never seen that much anger in her. "You think I'm crazy and it's just a figment of my imagination. Well if you don't believe me, ask Lissa, Christian, Eddie or even Alberta. At least _they_ believe me." She stormed off and called a number for an Alchemist, while I tried to take in what I was hearing. Could she really see someone's spirit? Why?

She shoved her phone back into her pocket and began to walk back toward the window. "Rose wait." I grabbed her arm, stopping her. "I'm sorry." It was all I could say.

"For what?" She snapped. "For not believing me? Whatever. I'm sure I'd probably have a hard time believing someone too if they told me they were having conversations with ghosts."

"It's just a lot for me to take in." I tried to explain. Any progress I could have made with rebuilding any type of friendship was becoming a distant memory fast.

"Well it wouldn't be if you had stayed."

The words hit me harder than any punch or kick from a Strigoi. The bitterness in her voice told me what she never had. I had hurt her when I left, more than she would ever admit. I had no right to barge back into her life like this.

She turned and walked back to the window, and pulled herself through swiftly. I followed and stood silently in the corner while she fixed herself up. Once she was done we both joined the others.

Lissa rushed over to Rose and I made my way to Alberta. She was standing against the wall lazily looking rather bored. It was a dead giveaway that she had been worried as well. I glanced at Rose and glared at the back of Adrian's head as he held onto her. Couldn't he see he was suffocating her? Stupid womanizing piece of-

"So? How many?" Alberta asked, cutting off my rather childish thoughts.

"One." I stood next to her. "One victim too."

"Moroi?"

I shook my head, "Human." I looked at Rose momentarily. "Hey look, I was talking to Rose, and she said she saw something."

"She did, and she does. I don't question her abilities Dimitri. The nausea, the other stuff. It gives her an edge; makes her a better guardian. And it's saved our asses more times than I can count." One of the things I really respected about Alberta was her ability to make things black and white.

"But really? Ghosts?"

She looked at me with a surprised expression. "Belikov, we work for vampires… you tell me which is weirder." She pushed off from the wall and walked over to the group.

"Well," She said standing beside Rose. "Let's try leaving again. Without running off to fight Strigoi this time."

As we left the mall Tasha stayed close, no doubt slightly worried about more Strigoi. We walked in silence as I thought about what Alberta had said. It was rather normal in comparison to vampires.

"Belikov" Alberta shouted, grabbing my attention. "I'm driving back."

I nodded. "Alright."

Somehow in the loading of the car, I ended up between Adrian and Rose. I wasn't all that heartbroken about it, but I played indifference for everyone's benefit. Rose leaned her head straight back avoiding any shoulders and I felt my heart sink a bit.

I remembered the drive back from the mall, when Rose and Lissa were still at the academy, and when I was her guardian. Rose had fallen asleep on my shoulder and I had never felt more at home.

The memories of that trip carried me all the way back to court and back to the house. Suddenly Tasha's grip was on my hand. It was tighter than usual but I tried not to think about it.

Everyone had gone their separate ways leaving only Tasha, Rose and I. Well this was awkward. Rose looked at the stairs and yawned. "Well, night" she said heading for the stairs.

"Actually, we're right behind you." Tasha tugging me toward the stairs as well.

We got to the door of our room and Tasha went in quickly heading for the bathroom, "Goodnight Rose," I called quietly down the hall.

"Night, Dimitri." It wasn't so much a loving goodnight; it sounded more exhausted and fed up.

I shut the door to our room and stripped down quickly, throwing on the flannel pajamas I had left on the bed. I got under the covers quickly and turned off the bedside lamp. I didn't want to discourage Tasha if she decided she wanted to be any type of intimate, but I really didn't want to deal with anything tonight.

When I heard the bathroom door open I shut my eyes, pretending to be asleep. Oddly when Tasha got into bed she didn't kiss me at all like she usually did before going to bed. She just turned off the light on her side of the bed and turned onto her side.

I drifted off to sleep that night, allowing myself to think about Rose and the memories I shared with her. I would feel guilty about it in the morning, but tonight it was what I needed.

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	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note:**** Alright guys! Here is the next installment! Hope you all enjoy! I know Feefella and I have been enjoying all the feedback! So if you guys keep up the good work, so will we! :D**

**An Author's Note from Feefella:**** Sorry for the lateness of the DPoV. Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol... and the work... and children (not mine but I take care of them) and friend drama, and WRITING MY BOOKS!**

**Disclaimer:**** The awesome VA Series is ALLL Richelle Meads!**

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**Chapter 7**

**Rose's Point of View**

I awoke the next morning to Lissa shaking me and calling my name. "Rose come on. Get up. You've slept half the day away."

"Mmhmm…" I grumbled.

"Really Rose. Get up. You have to get your _molnija_ mark today." She informed me.

That got me to roll over and sit up. Every tattoo was just another reminder of someone that I'd killed. I knew that they were Strigoi and evil and needed to be killed, but they use to be either human, Moroi or Dhampir before they were turned.

"Good!" Lissa smiled. "Now that wasn't so hard was it?"

"Next to impossible." I yawned as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes.

Lissa just laughed. "Hurry up and take a shower. You have to be at the Guardian Headquarters in an hour."

"Liss! You're just telling me this now? You know it takes me an hour to take a shower!" I shrieked as I jumped out of bed and ran to my bathroom. All I heard was her giggle as she left my room and shut the door behind her.

I turned on the water while I stripped off my tank top and boy shorts and jumped in the shower before the water was even hot. It took my body a few seconds to get use to the temperature but soon enough the water was warm enough for my liking. I at once proceeded to take the most rapid shower of my life.

Once I was finished, I quickly blow dried my hair and dressed in the Guardian attire: black slacks, white button up blouse and a black jacket. When I looked at my clock, I saw that I had about fifteen minutes left. And it would probably take me ten minutes to get there.

I bounded down the stairs and into the living room to see everyone watching a movie. It must have been some chick flick because Lissa and Tasha were completely consumed while Eddie, Christian and Dimitri look bored out of their minds. It took all I had not to laugh at the expressions on their faces.

"Looks like you're having the time of your life Christian." I teased him as I walked to the refrigerator to get a water.

"Oh, you have no idea Rosie." He taunted back.

"Hey! I told you not to call me that." I said as I made my way towards the door.

"Shh!" Tasha and Lissa both hushed us at the same time.

"Sorry." I grumbled as I opened the door to leave.

"Rose, wait." Eddie said quietly trying not to interrupt the girls as he got up to walk out with me. But from the looks they gave him, he didn't do too great of a job.

"Movie boring?" I asked smiling as we continued walking away from the house.

He groaned and looked up at the grey overcast sky. "God yes."

I laughed. "Figures." I paused for a moment. "So how is Mia?" I asked curios as I recalled how they acted around each other the last time I saw them together.

A look of shock crossed his face as he looked at me.

"What? Did I say something wrong?" I demanded as I thought back over what I had said. All I asked was how Mia was doing…

Eddie shook his head. "No, no. Nothing's wrong. It's just… Is it really that easy to tell?"

"Is what easy to tell? That you like her?"

He nodded his head guiltily.

"Well to be honest, no. Not at all. I just assumed that you liked her by the way you two acted around each other." He looked as if a thousand pounds had been lifted from his shoulders. "But don't be ashamed to like her Eddie, or love even. We're lucky to even find love in this field of work." As I said that, Dimitri immediately came to my mind. We had come to a stop in front of the Guardian Headquarters and I decided to finish my speech. "If she's the one, don't let her slip through your fingers."

He nodded again and looked back at the Moroi housing.

"Well what are you waiting for?" I grinned. "Go see her."

Eddie laughed and gave me a hug. "Thanks for understanding Rose." He said before running off to see Mia.

"Oh, if you only knew how much I understood." I whispered under my breath.

I thought about what I told Eddie as I walked into the Guardian Headquarters to get my _molnija_ mark. Guardian Ivey greeted me and lead me back to a room and sat me down in a chair while he went to work on the back of my neck. I ignored the rest of the tattoo procedure as I let my mind wander.

This was mostly about Dimitri.

I drifted back in time to when I first laid eyes on him, tall and mysterious, outside mine and Lissa's window when we had been living in Portland. He had seen me feeding Lissa. He had then captured Lissa and me on the streets later that night, while we were trying to escape him and the other Guardians that Kirova had sent after us. I recalled how he had saved my ass when Kirova threatened to expel me from the Academy and he agreed to take on extra training sessions with me. That's when we began to fall in love, but we both tried to ignore it because it was wrong in so many ways. Because of our age differences, our jobs, and most importantly, Lissa. Then came the trip to the mall when Lissa had bought me that little damn black dress which I'm sure only encouraged the lust spell that Victor, Lissa's so called uncle had charmed into my necklace to distract Dimitri and I while he kidnapped Lissa so she could heal him of his disease, and I had about lost my virginity to Dimitri. Not that I would have minded. But being Dimitri, he had figured it out right before we had 'done the deed' and pulled away. It wasn't too long after that that Tasha had shown up for Christmas and ruined everything…

"Congratulations Guardian Hathaway. Your mark is now complete." Guardian Ivey smiled at me breaking me out of my mental babble.

"Ugh, thanks." I said smiling weakly back at him. The tattoo stung a little, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle, hell, I killed Strigoi for a living.

He then continued to tell me how to care for my new _molnija_ mark but I tuned him out because I already knew how to clean and take care of it. I quickly thanked him again and went on my way.

As I was walking out of the building I about walked smack into Adrian.

"Little Dhampir! Belikov said you'd be here." He said as he crushed me into a hug.

"Ugh, yeah. I was getting my tattoo." I managed to say due to the fact that I was smashed against his chest. It kind of surprised me though that he had talked to Dimitri and not Lissa. "Um, you can let me go now."

"I don't ever want to let you go Rose." He grinned his mischievous smile as he let all of me loose but my hand. "Anyway, I was going to ask you to dinner tonight."

"Adrian, I don't know-"

But he cut me off before I could finish my sentence. "Ah, Little Dhampir, you have already agreed to my plan, did you not?"

"Well, yeah." But I didn't think he would use it against me.

"Good. I'll walk you home and pick you up at four." He explained as he started walking with me in tow.

I tried to suppress a groan as we made our way back to the house.

Once we reached the house, he stopped at the front door and gave me this look that said 'play along'. "So I'll be back at four okay?" I'm sure confusion was all over my face.

"Okay. See you then." I replied in my sugary sweet voice.

"Good." He smiled and leaned down to kiss my cheek. And a little too close to my lips for my liking, before turning to leave.

As I went to open the door, I nearly knocked Lissa out onto the floor. "Lissa! What the hell?!" I now understood why Adrian had given me that look. Lissa and only God knows who else had been eavesdropping.

"Um, I was, uh… Sorry." She finally managed to say.

Christian, Tasha and Dimitri were standing in the kitchen and Christian started laughing at Lissa's response. "Liss, I hate to say it, but I told you so." He got out between his guffaws of laughter. Lissa just glared at him.

"Well since it is apparently killing you all to know what's going on in my personal life, I guess I'll go ahead and tell you." I was being a smart ass, but I couldn't help it. "Adrian is taking me out to dinner tonight. And as I guess you all heard, he's picking me up at four, though I don't know what time I'll be back. Or do I have a curfew?" I asked turning to Lissa.

A look of hurt crossed her face and I instantly felt bad, but it kind of pissed me off that she was listening into mine and Adrian's conversation; even if it was a fake one. "You don't have to ask for permission Rose. You can do whatever you want." She snapped. I don't know why she was the one getting snappy; I wasn't the one listening into her conversations, though I didn't have to at times, her emotions just pulled me in unwillingly.

So to keep myself from saying something to my best friend that I would regret later, I just clamped my lips together and nodded my head at everyone before I stomped off upstairs to get ready.

It was almost 3:30 now, and I didn't have to shower again since I took one earlier. Therefore all I had to do was change clothes. I went into my closet and started to rummage through my clothes. No doubt Adrian would take me somewhere nice, so I figured I'd have to dress up. Somewhat.

I finally settled on a long white, tight fitting tank top with a black sequined belt around the waist and a blue three-quarter sleeve button up shirt thrown over it with jeans and knee high black boots. I left my hair down in loose waves around me, though this would probably turn out to be problematic later due to the A&D ointment on the fresh Molnija mark.

I had just finished applying a minimal amount of make-up when Lissa came in and said with a scowl, "Your _date_ is here." Before clomping off.

Yup. She was still pissed. But I didn't understand why she was so angry! She was the one that kept saying I should give Adrian a chance or at least start dating again, and here I was, doing both –even if it was pretend to make Dimitri jealous- and she still wasn't happy. I just didn't get it.

When I reached the bottom of the steps, I saw Adrian standing by the door in jeans and a dark green shirt that brought out the color of his eyes.

"Rose, you look absolutely beautiful." Adrian told me coming over to take my hand.

"Thanks." I replied smiling at him. I saw Christian trying to calm Lissa down in the corner of the kitchen while Dimitri was looking pointedly out of the window. Tasha seemed deep in thought sitting on the couch. Eddie still wasn't back yet. He was probably having the time of his life. Lucky him. "Well, we'll be back later I guess." I called to anyone who was listening.

"Maybe, if I return you." Adrian chimed in. I swear I saw Dimitri stifle a shudder out of the corner of my eye.

"Oh, you'll return me." I mumbled to Adrian from under my breath as we headed towards the door and out to his car.

"So are you ready for tonight?" Adrian asked once we were both in the vehicle.

"Whatever." I sighed leaning my head against the window. I wasn't in the mood for this tonight. From the side mirror, I could see Dimitri looking murderously out of the window at the car. "Let's just get this over with."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Adrian returned me a little after dawn. We had eaten dinner at a restaurant that I couldn't remember the name of, and then we went back to his apartment to watch some movie called _The Fog_. It was from the 70's and seemed pretty cheesy, you know, as horror movies go. So I wasn't really paying attention to the plot. The whole time the movie was playing, Adrian had his arm around me while I sat stiff and still like a statue. He finally gave up once the movie was over and took me home.

When I walked through the unlocked door, I was surprised to see a lamp on in the living room. I figured everyone would be asleep and in bed. Then I thought that maybe Lissa had gotten over her attitude and left a lamp on for me - even though the sun was coming up outside, we had dark, heavy curtains pulled over the windows during the day so the sun wouldn't bother the Moroi, so it was pretty dark inside. But when I went to turn the lamp off I about jumped out of my skin when I saw Dimitri lying on the couch reading one of his many western novels.

"Jeez, would it kill you to make a noise or flip a page or something to let somebody know you're here?" I inquired with my hand over my thudding heart.

He sat up, closed his book and ran a hand through his loose hair. "Sorry." He apologized.

"What are you still doing up anyway? I would have thought you'd be asleep." I said trying to get him to talk some more, I loved the sound of his voice.

Dimitri paused as if thinking of what to say. He sighed and finally answered. "I was making sure you got back alright."

His answer surprised me. He still cared. "Dimitri, you don't have to worry about me, I can take care of myself. You know that." I told him.

He stood up and walked over to where I was standing. "I know, but I had to make sure." He said reaching out to take one of my hands in his. His hand was so warm and strong around mine. Familiar. I missed his touch. I couldn't help but stare up into the dark depths of his brown eyes. I felt like I was looking into his soul, I felt like I could live there forever, I felt-

I cut my thoughts off and looked away to the book that he had thrown onto the cushion of the couch.

"Rose-" He started to say but was cut off by, of all people, Tasha.

"Dimitri?" She asked coming around the corner. "What are you still doing up? And who are you talking to?" She froze when she saw me. I was her answer.

I pulled my hand out of Dimitri's and stepped back. I had to think of an excuse and fast. "Um, Adrian had just dropped me off and I saw that Dimitri had fallen asleep on the couch, so I was just waking him up to go upstairs and go to bed." I lied to Tasha trying to cover for Dimitri. For what, I'm not sure, but I felt like I had too.

She nodded her head as she looked back and forth between us. I found it funny how I always ended up alone with these two. "Yeah, well. I guess I'll go to bed now." I said since no one else was saying anything. "Sooo, night." I finished as I gave Dimitri one last look before heading up the stairs. I could feel his eyes on my back as I left the room.

I don't know if Tasha bought my lie or not, but if she didn't, I hope Dimitri wouldn't get in too much trouble.

**Dimitri's Point of View**

I sat at the kitchen table looking at the stairs. She still wasn't up and I was starting to worry. If she didn't hurry-

"She's going to be late!" Lissa whined getting up from her seat next to Christian on the couch. Tasha looked up from where she sat in the chair close to her nephew and looked at me briefly before turning her attention back to Christian.

We hadn't spoken that much all morning. Besides the formal pleasantries, she was turning into a stranger. She wasn't as outgoing and bubbly as I knew her to be, but more reserved, like something was weighing on her mind.

Me.

It had to be me. I knew I wouldn't be able to hide my feelings for Rose once we got here. I wanted to say it wasn't my fault but I knew it was. This whole damn mess was entirely my fault.

"Well she's up, finally." Lissa said a hint of pride in her voice. It must have taken quite a bit of coaxing.

"Great." Tasha said with a cheery tone. "Let's do something!"

"Sounds good," Eddie said coming out of his room.

And after about half a minute of discussing we were all parked in front of the television, watching some sappy comedy about the inner workings of love. The plot was ridiculous and the acting was lacking any sort of depth but in a way I was slightly jealous of these two characters.

Sure everything seemed up in the air for them now, but in about an hour they would be professing their undying love for each other and end up living their happily ever after. It was so simple for these fictional characters, no real obstacles, no prior commitments… no problem with having to kill evil vampires for a living.

I was so busy glaring at the TV and wishing for a random murder scene in the movie, that I didn't notice Rose come into the room until she said, "Looks like you're having the time of your life Christian." She walked to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water.

"Oh, you have no idea Rosie." He taunted back.

"Hey! I told you not to call me that." She growled on her way to the door.

"Shh!" Tasha and Lissa both hushed them at the same time.

"Sorry." She opened the door and started to leave.

"Rose, wait." Eddie said quietly trying not to interrupt the girls as he got up to walk out with her. But from the looks they gave him, he didn't do too great of a job.

Once they were gone, I sighed and stood up. Tasha looked up at me questioningly. I motioned to the movie with an irritated gesture and she nodded understandingly. She knew I couldn't sit through these movies and was all but giving me permission to leave.

I headed to the door, ready to head after Eddie and Rose, but I stopped myself. What would I say? And why should I interrupt them? I wasn't a part of either of their lives. I sighed and grabbed my jacket, and walked out the door.

The crisp air was refreshing, like I had been suffocating until that very moment. As a gust of wind blew past me, I closed my eyes and turned my face toward the sky. The cold air reminded me of home, and of simpler times. I took a deep breath and that's when I smelt it. Clove cigarettes.

I opened my eyes and glared at the Moroi in front of me. He was standing with his hands shoved into his pockets and a smug grin on his face. "Guardian Belikov." He said with false politeness.

"She isn't here."

"Oh? And where might my darling girlfriend be?" His false sweetness was really starting to piss me off.

"Molnija mark." I didn't want to say more than I had to.

"Right, thanks." The "thanks" wasn't actually a "thank you". It was more like an "I know, you want Rose, but I have her so there". It was completely juvenile, exactly like Adrian Ivashkov.

He turned to leave and I felt my blood boil further. "Ivashkov." He turned back to look at me. "She isn't some conquest. Rose is…" I stopped myself. I wasn't about to lay out my feelings for Rose to this asshole.

"No," he said with a smirk. "She isn't a conquest, and this isn't a competition, Belikov. You had your chance and you chose Tasha. It was the right decision for you at the time. Settle down, start a family, all that sentimental stuff that seems great at the time. But when it comes to Rose, you had your chance. That ship has sailed, and sunk, and now lies next to the Titanic. So go back in there and cuddle up next to Tasha and realize that you made your bed, even if you don't want to sleep in it anymore." He turned and walked away, leaving me standing in the snow.

As much as I didn't like the guy, he was right. I had made my decision, and all my brooding was just causing more of a strain on mine and Tasha's relationship. I looked at the ground and sighed angrily, kicking a pile of snow, before heading back inside.

I had helped myself to the gym in the basement and was getting a bottle of water from the kitchen when I heard Lissa jump up from the table and say "Rose is back… with Adrian!"

Christian and Tasha came to stand in the kitchen next to me and both looked at Lissa with amused expressions. "So?" Christian said with a shrug.

"I wonder what they are talking about."

"Liss, don't. If you eavesdrop, it will just come back to bite you in the ass. It always does." Christian said shaking his head.

"She does it to me!"

"No, she doesn't. She can't control that! You can." He looked at her inching toward the door. "Well maybe you can't."

Lissa pressed her ear to the door and listened intently. "Okay he is talking about meeting her here at four. And she seems pretty into it."

She was caught by Rose moments later but I wasn't paying attention. I was thinking about what she had said. _She seems pretty into it_. Could Rose actually be falling for that alcoholic, prick?

No matter how hard I tried to just agree that she was gone and I was with Tasha now, I couldn't stop that part of me… that large part of me that needed Rose. I needed to be near her. I needed to hear her voice, to see those beautiful eyes looking back at me every day.

I saw Tasha talking to Christian. She looked up and smiled a little at me before turning her attention back to her nephew. I had to choose. No, I wouldn't end up with Rose, especially now that she was dating Adrian, but I could tell Tasha the truth and she could move on. I would be alone, but it wouldn't hurt as much as living this lie.

By the time Adrian arrived, I was beyond irritated. Staring out the window instead of looking at him was the best option. When Rose came down from her room, I felt my heart swell. She was the only person who could make a casual outfit look like art. She looked glorious. Then she was in Ivashkov's arms and I was reminded of the roles in this little drama. I was the past and Adrian was the future. As they left I felt my heart sinking further in my chest. Every inch of sanity was leaving me and I didn't like who I was becoming.

------------

Though the heavy shades were pulled around all the windows, I could tell that it was slightly past dawn. Everyone had gone to bed hours ago, and I had been reading the same page over and over again for the past hour and a half. I couldn't concentrate, knowing she was still out… with _him_.

I heard the doorknob turn slowly and someone step quietly into the house. I heard Rose walk quietly toward me and saw her reach for the lamp before she saw me. The startled look on her face was not nearly as amusing as when she jumped back and grabbed her heart.

"Jeez, would it kill you to make a noise or flip a page or something to let somebody know you're here?" She demanded, hand still over her heart.

I set the book down and ran my hand through my hair. "Sorry." I had planned on saying something a bit cleverer but when the time came and she was standing in front of me, "sorry" was all that came out.

"What are you still doing up anyway? I would have thought you'd be asleep." She asked narrowing her eyes.

I felt like a bit of reading? I couldn't sleep? What lie could I pull off? I looked at her and sighed. I couldn't pull off a lie, so I went with the truth. "I was making sure you got back alright."

She looked surprised for about half a second. "Dimitri, you don't have to worry about me, I can take care of myself. You know that." Her tone was a little harsh but there was softness in her eyes that I couldn't quite read.

I stood up and went to stand in front of her. I had been practicing what to say to her in my head but I was having trouble getting it out now that I was here with her. "I know, but I had to make sure." I took her hand in mine and tried to express everything with my eyes. I loved her. I always had and I had never stopped. I wanted her more than I wanted my next breath. I needed to tell her.

"Rose-"

"Dimitri?" Tasha asked coming around the corner. "What are you still doing up? And who are you talking to?" She saw Rose and froze.

Rose quickly pulled her hand from mine. She looked around quickly before turning to Tasha. "Um, Adrian had just dropped me off and I saw that Dimitri had fallen asleep on the couch, so I was just waking him up to go upstairs and go to bed."

Tasha nodded but continued to look at us. She seemed to be making a decision about something but I wasn't sure what. "Yeah, well. I guess I'll go to bed now." Rose said since none of us were saying anything. "Sooo, night." She cast one last fleeting glance toward me and hurried up the stairs.

Once Tasha and I were alone, I felt horrible. I hadn't handled any of this well. She walked across the room and stood in front of me with an expression I couldn't read.

"Goodnight Dimitri," she said quietly and reached up to kiss my cheek. She turned and headed back up the stairs, leaving me in the dimly lit room, confused and feeling guilty.

* * *

**So? Love it? Hate it? The only way to let us know is to review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note:**** Hey all! Sorry it took so long with this Chapter! We just took a little break is all. So again, my apologies. But anyway, hope you enjoy it! And Happy Valentine's Day!**

**Oh, Feefella said she is too drunk for an author's note…**

**Disclaimer:**** We don't own a thing! The awesome Vampire Academy Series is Richelle Mead's!**

* * *

**Chapter 8**

**Rose's Point of View**

As I lay in bed that night, I thought. I thought about everything including Dimitri, Adrian's plan, and this huge mess I'd gotten myself into. It was ridicules really. I didn't even understand the point in this game anymore. Adrian and I had wanted to make Dimitri jealous, and to be honest, I think it was working. But why? Dimitri chose Tasha. End of story. He shouldn't be jealous, but he was. I could see it in his eyes before, but our conversation we had had just moments ago proved it.

So that was it then. I couldn't play this game any longer. I would tell Adrian tomorrow that the plan was off. He had his fun, but it was time to call it quits. It would probably break his heart, but there was a girl out there for him and he would eventually find her someday. That girl just wasn't me though.

Sighing, I rolled over, pulled the sheet up to my chin and closed my eyes, willing sleep to come. I was just about to doze off when I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. _It's just Dimitri,_ I told myself. He confirmed my thoughts a few seconds later when he paused in front of my open door, his tall frame casting a shadow over me. It was just like him. Checking to make sure I was in bed. He mumbled something under his breath too low for me to hear and continued on down the hall to his room.

I felt a small smile spread across my face before I fell into a dreamless sleep. Though I didn't know why.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I woke up earlier than I normally did the next morning. Probably because I knew I had a task to do today.

I sat up in bed and stretched and then proceeded to my bathroom to get ready. After my shower, I dressed in jeans and an old t-shirt that had some faded writing on it.

I went downstairs to find everyone eating breakfast at the table. Figures. Even though I woke up earlier didn't mean I was the first one up. I was always the last.

"Hey Rose, want something to eat?" Lissa asked me before she took a drink of orange juice. Her attitude was definitely better today. She was herself again.

"Um, not right now. I have to take care of something." I replied as I put on my coat and headed for the door.

"What is it?" She inquired as confusion swept over her features.

My eyes drifted to Dimitri's face before I answered her. He was looking expectantly at me as well. "Nothing for you to worry about." I gave her what I hoped was a convincing smile.

_Later,_ she told me through the bond. _We need to talk anyway. _I nodded my head at her and continued on out the door.

I thought about what I was going to tell Adrian as I walked to his apartment. But unfortunately, I had come up with nothing by the time I got there to knock on the door. "Coming!" I heard him yell from inside. A couple moments later, he opened the door. I was actually surprised to see him up this early. "Back so soon Little Dhampir? I knew you couldn't resist me." He said with his signature grin.

I looked up at him, my face serious. "Adrian, we need to talk." I told him as he let me in.

I knew he could tell I was serious by the tone of his voice. "Okay, spill."

Heaving a sigh, I turned around to face him full on. "The plan is off. You've had your fun, but I'm done. I think we've achieved to make _him_ jealous."

Adrian nodded to himself as if he was thinking hard. "You're right. We did make him jealous. I could tell by all the green in his aura whenever I was around. But tell me this; did he break up with Tasha?"

"Uh, no. And I don't think he will. Dimitri isn't like that." I explained.

"But I thought that's what you wanted." It wasn't a question; it was more like a statement.

I shook my head vigorously. "No. I agreed that we would make him jealous, not make him leave Tasha."

"You won't be happy." Adrian stated.

"My happiness doesn't matter." I mumbled looking down. I wanted Dimitri. I loved Dimitri, but I wasn't going to make him abandon Tasha no matter how much I disliked the fire using bitch, even though she took him from me in the first place. But I was going to try to look over that and be the bigger person here no matter how hard it was.

You can't force love, I realized. It's there or it isn't. If it's not there, you've got to be able to admit it. If it is there, you've got to do whatever it takes to protect the ones you love. And I was willing to do anything for Dimitri, even if it killed me. Mentally or physically.

"It matters to me." Adrian said.

I looked back up at him. "Adrian, you'll find your special someone. But it's not me."

He gave me a sad smile. "I just wish it was."

I smiled back at him and walked over to give him a hug. "Thanks for your help though." Even if it was for nothing. But I didn't say that last part out loud.

He held onto me for a few more seconds and finally pulled back. "Well, at least let me walk you back."

I chewed on my lip for a second. "Fine." I grumbled and headed for the door with Adrian on my heels.

We were halfway back to the house when I heard Mia calling my name. "Rose! Wait up! I have someone that wants to meet you!"

I paused and looked back. There walking by Mia was a young Moroi girl, tall and skinny, even for a Moroi, maybe fourteen, with long light brown hair that stopped about mid-back.

Once Mia and the girl reached us, Mia introduced us. "Rose, this is Jill, Jill, this is Rose."

The girl, Jill, looked as if she was going to jump out of her skin. "Oh my gawd! You're Rose Hathaway! You killed those two Strigoi in Spokane and all those Strigoi when they attacked the Academy!" She exclaimed.

I grinned at her surprised that she knew who I was. "Yeah. But I couldn't have done it without Mia and Christian's help." I admitted.

"You mean Christian Ozera?!" Jill squeaked.

I laughed despite myself. "Yes, that's the one. Do you want to meet him?"

"Oh I'd love to!"

"Alright then, let's go." I said and started walking again.

"Thanks Rose." Mia said coming up beside me. "I was going to go see Eddie anyway and I thought that while I did, Jill here could meet you. She is spending Christmas here with her parents and wanted me to teach her a couple of water tricks."

"No problem Mia. I didn't even know I had fans." I joked.

"Of course you do!" Jill broke in. "Everyone knows who you are."

Adrian laughed. I'd almost forgotten he was with us. "Yeah Rose, who wouldn't be a fan of you?"

"Very funny Adrian." I told him and then thought I should introduce him to Jill. "Oh Jill, this is Adrian."

I heard her manage a small and shy, "Hi".

But Adrian being himself gave her a flirty smile and threw an arm around her shoulders. "Hey, I'm Adrian Ivashkov."

I rolled my eyes. Poor girl. I ignored what else was said as we walked through the door.

"Jeez Rose." Christian complained. "You leave alone but come back with a crowd."

"Be nice Christian if it's possible, you have someone that wants to meet you." I explained pointing to Jill.

He smiled at her showing her his fangs like he always did when he smiled and held his hand out to her. "Hey, I'm Christian Ozera."

Jill's reaction to him was much like it was with me. A lot of high pitched squeals and "Oh my God's". Lissa introduced herself and ended up introducing everyone else. "That's Eddie, Christian's Guardian, Tasha, Christian's aunt, and Dimitri is down in the basement working out, but he's Tasha's Guardian." She didn't say boyfriend, which surprised me, but maybe Lissa didn't think it was any of her business.

"Dimitri? As in Dimitri Belikov?" Jill asked. Was there anyone she didn't know? But I didn't blame her. If I were in her shoes, I would have wanted to me the Badass Guardian Belikov myself.

Tasha laughed. "Yes. I'll go get him."

"Oh that's okay; I don't want to interrupt his exercise." Jill said.

"No, no it's fine!" Tasha exclaimed disappearing down the hallway only to return a minute later with Dimitri.

His eyes found me instantly, and I could tell he had been working out hard. There were strands of his brown hair sticking to his damp forehead that had escaped his short pony tail. His eyes left me and turned to Jill who was making excited noises. And the same thing happened that happened to Christian and me. Looks like history does repeat it's self after all.

I turned to see Eddie and Mia talking to each other near the door. I caught Mia saying, "I'd love to but what about Jill?"

"Leave her with Lissa." Eddie replied. "She won't mind."

"I'll take her." Adrian said. Mia and Eddie turned to him with a look of shock on their faces. Looks like I wasn't the only one listening in.

"What? Are you sure?" Mia asked.

"Positive." Adrian smiled at her.

"Okay…" Mia said uncertainly. "Hey Jill, I'm going to go with Eddie for a little bit, Adrian is going to watch after you. Okay? He'll drop you off back at my place around two." Mia looked at Adrian as she said the last part.

"Okay." Jill said sounding a little nervous.

"You hear me Ivashkov? Two." Mia told him sternly again.

"I know, I know. Two. I heard you."

"Good." Mia responded just as she and Eddie walked out the door.

That left me standing alone and I wandered over to the window to peer out at the darkened yard. I sighed leaving a circle of fog where my hot breath touched the cool glass of the window.

A few moments later, Adrian took Jill and left. I hoped Adrian behaved himself around her. She didn't need to be around while he was smoking and drinking. But one could only hope.

"Rose." Lissa said coming to stand beside me. "Are you and Adrian okay? I mean, he didn't even say anything to you when he left."

"I'm okay, I don't know about him though." I paused. I might as well tell her, she was bound to figure it out anyway. "I just told him I thought we should stay friends. Nothing more."

"Oh." She sounded stunned. "But the way you to acted… you both seemed really into each other…"

"And that's all it was. Acting. I tried to make myself like him more than a friend, but I couldn't." I explained turning to look at her full on.

"Oh." Was all she could say apparently. "This doesn't have to do with one of our guests does it?"

What?! How could she have guessed? It wasn't obvious was it? I didn't think it was… _Jeez, Rose, calm down. _I told myself._ You're starting to sound like Eddie…_ But I kept the panic I felt off my face and instead looked at Lissa with a confused expression. "Liss, what on earth are you talking about?"

She gave me a knowing look but said, "Never mind." And walked back over to Christian who was talking with Tasha and Dimitri. I groaned quietly to myself and went upstairs to put on a pair of sweatpants to workout in.

An hour later I was doing a few cool down exercises after running, lifting weights and attacking a couple practice dummies before I headed up to take a shower, when I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. At first I thought it was Lissa, but when I turned around, Dimitri was standing about a foot away from me. Damn he was fast and quiet.

I subconsciously took a small step back and ran into the wall. I didn't know I was that close to it. "Uh hey." I managed to get out. He had this odd look on his face that looked like he was holding something in or trying really hard to keep some emotion off his face. Maybe it was both.

He took a step towards me, closing the small space between us. I was breathing hard enough as it was after just working out, but having him this close to me was making it really difficult to breathe. Or move.

"Rose, I have-" Dimitri started to say, but then he stopped himself as if he were rethinking his words or nervous about something. Of all the time I'd know Dimitri, I had never seen him speechless or nervous about anything. The tension was killing me! I wanted to hear what he had to say already! This was the third time that he's tried to talk to me, really talk to me, but he always stopped himself after "Rose-". It was frustrating. He took a deep breath to what I assumed was to finish his speech.

But instead, he kissed me.

**Dimitri's Point of View**

I had paced the living room floor so many times I was sure I had left tracks in the carpet. I couldn't stop thinking about Tasha and Rose. I felt like I was back to square one with the whole choosing thing. I had had to make this decision a year ago with the two of them. I thought I had made the right choice but now, here, I wasn't so sure.

_Stop it._ The voice in my head was right. I had to stop. I was being a selfish child. This house, this life… they weren't mine. They never had been. My life was with Tasha.

I shook my head and made my way up the stairs. The darkened hallway seemed so ominous as I slowly walked down it, stopping by Rose's open door. I didn't know if she was asleep but I was sure she had to be.

"Good night, Roza. I'll miss you."

I went to mine and Tasha's room and felt my way in the dark to my side of the bed. Tomorrow I would insist that we leave. Tomorrow I would drive far away and hopefully never come back. Rose would be with Adrian and I would be with Tasha. It's the way things had to end.

------------

The morning went by slowly. I could count the seconds ticking by and it was giving me a headache. I had woken up long before the others and had taken an extremely long jog around court. Trying to get my courage to tell Tasha we needed to leave. I had to think of an excuse that would convince her, without making her suspicious of my intentions.

I still hadn't thought of one when Rose came down the stairs later that morning.

"Hey Rose, want something to eat?" Lissa asked her before she took a drink of orange juice. Her attitude had changed from the night before and I was glad. I knew it pained Rose to fight with her best friend.

"Um, not right now. I have to take care of something." She replied shrugging on her coat and heading for the door.

"What is it?" She inquired as confusion swept over her features.

She looked at me then and I felt my heart wrench. I needed to talk to her alone. I needed to say good-bye one last time. I just… couldn't. Not here in a room full of people.

"Nothing for you to worry about." She smiled at Lissa and I saw a hint of reservation and sadness in her smile. She nodded after a moment and headed out the door.

"Tasha," I said standing behind where she sat at the table with the others. "Can we talk?"

"Sure." She stood up and walked past me up the stairs to our room. She knew this conversation was going to need privacy.

I shut the door behind me and took a deep breath. I turned toward Tasha and saw her smiling at me.

"We need to leave." I blurted the words out and was shocked at myself. I had intended to be more couth about this. The smile never wavered from her face, as if she had been expecting it.

"We can talk about this later tonight. I need to talk to you about a few things too but I'd rather do it later." I began to protest but she cut me off saying "A few hours won't hurt anything, I promise." She moved past me and out the door, leaving me alone in the room.

I wasn't sure what had just happened. I was alone and confused for the second time in less than twenty-four hours and it was starting to grate on my nerves. I didn't like the feeling of not being in control of the situation.

I stormed out into the hall and down the stairs, turning the corner sharply and heading down the next set of stairs into the basement. I grabbed some gloves and began beating at the punching bag in front of me.

I landed one hard blow after another feeling myself loosing control further. I wanted to stop, to take a breath, to control my emotions, but I couldn't. Hitting that punching bag was the only thing I could manage to do. I knew I was coming dangerously close to bursting the bag and finally collapsed against it, exhausted.

I felt sick, like I was going to pass out. I turned for the stairs and found myself face to face with Tasha.

"Are we going to talk now?"

"Not exactly. There is someone who'd like to meet you." She turned and walked up the basement steps. I followed behind glaring at the back of her head.

My eyes met Rose's the second I reached the top of the stairs. The look was short lived since there was an excited teenager jumping up and down in front of me talking about meeting a walking god.

I was introduced to this girl named Jill and wondered what rumors she had heard to make her act like she was meeting some famous rock star. I tuned her out as she squawked on and on about meeting us all. I was watching Rose, wondering if I would get a chance to have her alone, and to say my final goodbye.

She wasn't looking at me, however. She was looking at Eddie and Mia as they spoke in hushed tones in the corner of the room.

"I'll take her," Adrian said in response to whatever was being whispered about in the corner. Everyone turned their attention to the odd group.

"What? Are you sure?" Mia asked.

"Positive." Adrian smiled at her.

"Okay…" Mia said uncertainly. "Hey Jill, I'm going to go with Eddie for a little bit, Adrian is going to watch after you. Okay? He'll drop you off back at my place around two." Mia looked at Adrian as she said the last part.

"Okay." Jill said sounding a little nervous.

"You hear me Ivashkov? Two." Mia told him sternly again.

"I know, I know. Two. I heard you."

"Good." Mia responded just as she and Eddie walked out the door.

I watched them go and envied the bravery they seemed to have gained to be together. Together? I wanted to bang my head against the wall. Of course! Eddie was talking about Mia when he was asking me all those questions about being with a Moroi.

I glanced over to see Rose peering out the window, solemnly. She wasn't looking at Adrian or talking with him. He was busy talking to the young girl in front of us. Ivashkov never seemed to take a break from girl to girl and I wondered if he had gotten what he wanted and moved on. I got a sort of conformation when Adrian left with Jill and didn't say anything to Rose.

Lissa went to talk to Rose about something and Tasha and Christian discussed the new girl they had just met. But I wasn't paying much attention to anything any of them were saying. I was feeling claustrophobic again. I needed air.

I watched as Rose excused herself and that's when Tasha tugged on my arm.

"Can we talk now?" She asked kindly.

I nodded and followed her upstairs, leaving Lissa and Christian on their own. The walk down the hallway to our room felt like a walk to the executioner. I felt something crumbling though I couldn't figure out what it was.

"Dimitri, I know." Tasha said closing the door.

"You know what? That we should leave? Good, I'll start getting-"

"I know you love her." She sat down on the bed and I felt the blood rush from my face.

"What?" It was the only thing I _could_ say.

"Dimka, you have been in love with Rose since," she paused. "Since you met her. And I gave you a choice. I asked you to be part of my life because I thought it was an unwelcome infatuation. You took my offer because you did what you thought was right." I felt like I was getting another lecture from Ivashkov. "I love you, Dimitri, but I can't pretend anymore. You shouldn't either. I know you think staying away from Rose is right, and maybe it is. But I've learned when it's time to cut and run." She stood up and that's when I noticed the suitcases. "Look, I've already said my good-bye to Christian and I am going to go say good-bye to Lissa. You can stay and tell Rose how you feel, or you can leave too. But, make up your mind and soon." She held my face in her hands and kissed me softly. It wasn't a lover's kiss. It was a goodbye gesture from an old friend.

She grabbed her bags and walked out of the room, leaving me alone yet again. I stood there staring after her for a long time. She was gone and she had absolved me of any obligation to her. I was home free.

But I wasn't. Tasha had a point. I had made my choice all that time ago, out of duty to my profession and to my kind. Dhampirs couldn't be together. They contributed nothing to our world. We were nothing without or Moroi.

I knew what I had to do.

I would leave and Rose would get over whatever problem her and Adrian were going through, and they would start a life. The life I should have been leading with Tasha. I sighed heavily and walked out the door. I knew before I found her that Rose would be working out in the gym.

I made my way down the steps and over to her. This was it, my final goodbye. After tonight she would never see me again.

She turned around and looked startled. She obviously wasn't expecting me and took an instinctive step back into the wall. "Uh, hey." She managed to say. I took a step forward, closing the space between us. I had to do this. I had all the words in my head but standing here in front of her now, I couldn't make the words come out.

"Rose, I have-" I stopped. _Come on_, I thought to myself. _Tell her, that you are leaving. Tell her that you are saying goodbye._ I thought about the last time I had left her. The look in her eyes. The hurt that I caused her. I couldn't do that to her again. I took a deep breath and let go.

I pulled her close and kissed her.

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**So? What are your thoughts? We have a little bit of a cliffy there don't we? Lol. Review Please! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note:**** Hello! Wow, I don't even know where to begin! I am so so so very sorry with how long it took to get this chapter up. The reason it took me so long to write it is because my Grandpa passed away back in March which was hard on me because we were really close, and I just couldn't motivate myself to do any type of writing. Then once I got Rose's PoV written and sent to Feefella, I found out that her computer had a virus so that took awhile to fix. But all is well now for both of us that I'm aware of, so hopefully, it won't take this long to update again. **

**Oh, and Feefella wanted me to tell you all that she is 22 so its alright for her to drink and that she is NOT ****encouraging minors to drink.**

**Now, on with the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: ****As always, the magnificent Vampire Academy Series belong to Richelle Mead!**

**Chapter 9**

**Rose's Point of View**

I couldn't help but kiss him back. My arms found their way around his neck while one of his was snaked around my waist, pulling me closer and his other hand was tangled in my hair.

It had been so long since I'd kissed Dimitri that kissing him now felt like lightning had struck my lips. I felt on fire. I felt alive. I felt-

_Whoa,_ the rational part of my brain said, _wait Rose, this isn't right! _But as we continued kissing, that part of my brain grew smaller and smaller. The part in me that would always love Dimitri took over. I was hyper aware of everywhere his body touched mine, even the way his fingers knotted in my hair. I pressed myself closer to him to deepen the kiss, and I could sense his own desire picking up.

When we broke away to breathe, I tried to get out of his grip, but he wasn't letting me go anywhere. We were both breathing hard, me more so than him.

"What about… what about Tasha?" I panted, my rational thinking returning to me.

Dimitri looked down at me and steadied his breathing before he answered me. "Tasha left."

I was shocked to say the least. "She…she what?" I exclaimed. _She left? She couldn't have! What about her…her and Dimitri? Dimitri is her Guardian! And not to mention whatever else… I thought for sure that they were going to start a family and all that mushy shit…_ My mind rambled on and on.

Dimitri sighed and took a step back from me. "She left because she knew. She knew about us Rose. She knew… knows that I love you."

Holy shit. Dimitri just said _he loves me_. I had to be dreaming because this couldn't be happening. Somebody pinch me… I shook my head trying to clear it a little, but Dimitri kept talking.

"Tasha gave me the choice last Christmas to become her Guardian or to stay, and I thought I chose what was best for us Rose. We couldn't let our feelings for each other get in the way of protecting Lissa." He explained. But all of this I already knew. "Tasha is tired of pretending and so am I. It isn't fair that we can't return each other's feelings equally, especially since my heart has always been with you Roza. You've had my heart since I first laid eyes on you, whether I knew it or not." Dimitri took a deep breath to compose himself. "Rose, I know it's too late to apologize, you told me so, but I'm sorry. Truly I am. You just don't know how sorry I am for hurting you when I left. I could see the hurt in your eyes. I can still see it in your eyes. I know there is no way on this earth that you will ever be able to forgive me, but-"

I kissed him again. "Shut up Dimitri." I mumbled against his warm, soft lips. "I know that you're sorry, and… I forgive you." I finished looking into his deep brown eyes.

His only response was to kiss me yet again, which I surely didn't have a problem with. I somehow ended up pressed against the wall with my arms around his neck while one of his hands was on my hip and the other was once again wrapped up in my hair. It reminded me a lot of the time back at the Academy when Tasha had first arrived. Of the kiss that Dimitri and I had shared that day in the training room when I had figured out that he always fought for control just like I did. That was when this whole situation started.

The kiss was becoming very heady and deep when he broke it. "Rose… Roza, are you sure?"

"Positive Comrade." I said using my old nick name for him. I smiled at him before I pecked him once more on the lips and then started untangling myself from around him.

I turned to face him. "Are _you_ sure? Are you sure you don't want to leave with her?" I asked looking down. I had to ask. To really make sure he wasn't about to change his mind.

He stepped forward and put a finger under my chin, forcing me to look up at him. Even that small touch made my skin tingle. "Roza, I've been away from you for too long. I won't ever leave you again. I learned my lesson the hard way." His words made my heart beat faster. "Rose, I love you." He told me before he leaned down to give me the softest, sweetest kiss I've ever had.

After a couple of seconds, he broke away and looked at me with a question in his eyes. "But... What about you and… Adrian?"

I glanced across the room. Crap. I really didn't want to go there. But I could tell he was waiting for my answer. "It was fake Dimitri. It was actually Adrian's idea. He could tell that I still had feelings for you and he wanted to make you jealous. But like I said, it was totally fake. There was nothing there. Well, not anything for me anyway. We're just friends, that's it."

When I was done, I peeked back up at him. He didn't look upset, just thoughtful. "I see." Was all he said.

"Are you mad?" I asked quietly.

"Not at all. I can see why you did it."

I could only imagine the look that crossed my face. "Really?"

He chuckled. "Yes Roza. Though that doesn't change the way I feel about him."

I laughed and wrapped my arms around his waist. "I figured as much."

Dimitri placed his hands on my lower back and rested his chin on top of my head. We stayed like that for a moment, just happy to be in each other's arms.

After a couple seconds, I pulled out of his embrace. "We better get back upstairs before Christian and Lissa wonder what has happened." I said.

Dimitri nodded his head in agreement.

We made our way up the stairs back to the main floor with Dimitri's hand on my lower back the whole time. When we made it to the kitchen, I saw that Christian and Lissa were still outside telling Tasha goodbye. I leaned against the counter and looked at them through the window.

"Are you sure you want to stay?" I asked Dimitri again. "Cause I'm really not worth it."

Dimitri grabbed me by my wrist and spun me around so fast that he could have been a Strigoi. He placed his hand on the side of my face and said, "Roza, what did I tell you? I'm never going to leave you again. And trust me, you _are_ worth it." He leaned down to kiss me. It's like we couldn't get enough of each other. But I couldn't blame myself. I hadn't seen him in about a year, so what did you expect me to do?

The kiss started to get heady and deep, and Dimitri picked me up and set me on the bar so he wouldn't have to bend down as far. I started to lean more into him and wrap my arms tighter around his neck when the door opened. Dimitri pulled back a few inches as Lissa and Christian walked in and froze. I dropped my arms and bit my bottom lip.

_Jeez Rose. You don't waste any time do you?_ Lissa asked me through the bond at the same time Christian said, "I am never cooking anything on that part of the counter ever again."

Dimitri stepped back and I jumped off the bar. "Sorry, we were just, uh…" I started to say.

"There's no need to explain, we saw what you two were doing." Christian replied as snarky as always.

This was one of those very rare times when I didn't have anything to say and I could feel a slight blush rising in my cheeks. We all stood there in an awkward silence for a few moments.

"Um, Christian, let's call it a night. I'm tired." Lissa spoke up breaking the silence.

Christian looked at her and nodded. "Sounds good. Besides, after what we just saw, I've kind of lost my appetite."

Lissa lightly slapped him in the arm and looked at me and Dimitri. "Goodnight Rose and Guardian Belikov."

"Please Princess, call me Dimitri." Dimitri told her.

She smiled at him, "I'll call you Dimitri as long as you call me Lissa."

Dimitri nodded and said, "Goodnight Lissa. And Christian."

Christian grabbed Lissa's arm and headed for the stairs. "Night Rose. Dimitri." He threw over his shoulder and then they were out of sight.

I turned to Dimitri. "Now what?" I asked him.

He looked at me and shrugged his shoulders. "Would you like to get something to eat?"

I grinned at him. "Sure."

We grabbed our coats and headed out to the little Café down the road. We didn't say much on the way there, just held hands and were comfortable in our own silence. It felt weird being so close to each other in public after not being able to touch each other back at the Academy.

When we reached the Café, Dimitri held the door open for me, and we went to a booth in the corner. Due to the late hour, there was hardly anyone eating. Our waiter came up and took our drink orders and then left giving us a few minutes to look over the menu. When he returned he took our orders and left again to place our orders. After he was out of earshot, I looked at Dimitri and asked, "So what are you going to do now that you're not Tasha's Guardian?"

He took a drink of his water before he answered. "I guess I'll go to the Headquarters tomorrow and see if there is someone here I can guard, or just be an extra Guardian to do patrol, or whatever they need me to do."

I nodded my head. "As long as you get to stay here, I'll be happy. I know that sounds selfish… but… it's true. I mean, shouldn't the Guardians deserve to be happy too?"

Dimitri leaned over and took my hands in his on the table. "I know exactly how you feel, Roza." He looked like he wanted to say more, but then our food arrived. Dimitri had ordered the Grilled Chicken Feta Sandwich while I ordered the Buffalo Chicken Wrap.

We made small talk as we ate and after we were done, we headed out and took a small walk around Court in the rising sun. Dimitri found a snow covered bench near a frozen water fountain and pulled me towards it. He dusted the snow off with his bare hand and sat down pulling me with him. The bench was cold on my butt and I snuggled into Dimitri's side for more warmth. He put his arm around me and I rested my head on his shoulder as I sighed contently.

He rested his head on top of mine and I turned slightly so I could place a kiss on his neck. I turned back and watched as the slowly rising sun made the snow glitter in all different directions.

I had missed Dimitri so much and I was glad that he had decided to stay. Though I wasn't really sure what was going to happen next. But I knew that whatever happened, I could deal with it as long as I had Dimitri by my side.

**Dimitri's Point of View**

She was kissing me back and I felt my heart rate increase. I felt secure here with Rose, like finally everything made sense. I pulled her closer, pressing my body against hers, needing to be as close as humanly possible. I let my fingers tangle in her hair, missing the beautiful locks that I had admired so long ago.

As her arms locked around my neck, memories began flooding back. The memories that used to haunt me seemed to keep me grounded now. The touches and the kissing that had tortured me for a year were now like a gift, reminding me of how much I needed this… needed her.

As if reading my mind, Rose deepened the kiss pushing harder against me. I felt my heart skip a beat and through the pain of it I felt grateful that it was keeping me grounded. I broke the kiss and pressed my forehead to hers, my breath ragged.

"What about… what about Tasha?" Rose asked gulping for air. She pulled her head back to look at me better.

I let my breathing steady before answering. "Tasha left."

"She…she what?" Rose practically yelled. She looked like she was starting to panic. I wasn't sure what was going in her head but I felt she deserved an explanation.

I sighed and took a step back from her. "She left because she knew. She knew about us Rose. She knew… knows that I love you."

She looked at me with a shocked expression, like she couldn't believe what she was hearing. She shook her head a bit and I panicked. Could she think that I didn't care about her all this time?

"Tasha gave me the choice last Christmas to become her Guardian or to stay, and I thought I chose what was best for us, Rose. We couldn't let our feelings for each other get in the way of protecting Lissa." I explained, trying to make her understand. "Tasha is tired of pretending and so am I. It isn't fair that we can't return each other's feelings equally, especially since my heart has always been with you, Roza. You've had my heart since I first laid eyes on you, whether I knew it or not." I took a deep breath thinking about that night outside her window in Portland, and then thought about that final goodbye a year ago. "Rose, I know it's too late to apologize, you told me so, but I'm sorry. Truly I am. You just don't know how sorry I am for hurting you when I left. I could see the hurt in your eyes. I can still see it in your eyes. I know there is no way on this earth that you will ever be able to forgive me, but-"

She kissed me then. "Shut up Dimitri." She mouthed against my lips. "I know that you're sorry, and… I forgive you." She looked at me then, making sure I understood the truth behind her words.

I kissed her back, pressing her against the wall. I wanted to be closer than this, though our bodies were already pressed together. I wanted to sink into her, to fill that void that had been there for so long. I held onto her waist silently cursing the clothes between us.

Wait. I couldn't go that far with her could I? Should I?

I broke the kiss and looked at her again. "Rose… Roza, are you sure?"

"Positive Comrade." She smiled a little and kissed me quickly, while trying to ease away from me. I didn't want to let go of her. But I did.

Suddenly she stopped. "Are _you_ sure? Are you sure you don't want to leave with her?" she asked looking down, hiding her face.

I hooked my finger under her chin, forcing her to look me in the eye. They hint of sadness was like a wound re-opening. "Roza, I've been away from you for too long. I won't ever leave you again. I learned my lesson the hard way." My heart thudded nervously in my chest. "Rose, I love you." I kissed her, trying to convey every emotion I felt to her, in one single kiss.

I could have stayed this way forever, damn everyone else. Forget the friends upstairs or… damn. I had forgotten about someone. "But... What about you and… Adrian?"

She focused on the far side of the room and tried to avoid my gaze. It reminded me of when she was scolded at the Academy. "It was fake Dimitri. It was actually Adrian's idea. He could tell that I still had feelings for you and he wanted to make you jealous. But like I said, it was totally fake. There was nothing there. Well, not anything for me anyway. We're just friends, that's it."

I though back to the conversation the day after the Mall trip.

_You had your chance and you chose Tasha. It was the right decision for you at the time. Settle down, start a family, all that sentimental stuff that seems great at the time. But when it comes to Rose, you had your chance. That ship has sailed, and sunk, and now lies next to the Titanic. So go back in there and cuddle up next to Tasha and realize that you made your bed, even if you don't want to sleep in it anymore._

That slimy little bastard. He knew all along that this distance was killing me and loved every second of it.

"I see," I said after a moment.

"Are you mad?" If I had been a normal person I wouldn't have heard the words.

"Not at all. I can see why you did it."

She looked at me as if I had said the words in Russian. "Really?"

I laughed a little. "Yes Roza. Though that doesn't change the way I feel about him."

She laughed and wrapped her arms around me. "I figured as much."

I smiled and held her tight, loving the simple closeness. Here with her there was no Tasha and no Adrian. There was just Rose and me, and the love we shared.

After a couple seconds, Rose pulled away. "We better get back upstairs before Christian and Lissa wonder what has happened."

I nodded and followed her lead, not letting go of her. When we were upstairs, I saw that Christian and Lissa were still bidding Tasha good-bye. I felt a twinge of guilt. How could I be allowed to be this happy when she was probably suffering?

"Are you sure you want to stay?" Rose asked, breaking through my thoughts. "Cause I'm really not worth it."

I grabbed her by the wrist, spinning her around to face me. She looked startled. I held the side of her face, and tried to look stern. "Roza, what did I tell you? I'm never going to leave you again. And trust me, you _are_ worth it." I leaned down and kissed her again. I needed this contact with her. It was the thing connecting me to any sort of happiness. I couldn't stop myself… not with Rose. She had always been the one thing I couldn't control.

I could feel that control I was clinging to start to fade. I lifted Rose from the floor and set her on the counter-top leaning closer now that she was higher up. I could feel her getting more flustered and I had to admit I was as well.

In that instant, the front door opened and I stepped back from Rose. Even as quick as I was, I knew from the looks on Lissa and Christian's faces as they stood frozen in the doorway, that they had seen us.

"I am never cooking anything on that part of the counter ever again." Christian said, disgust in his voice.

I took another step back and Rose jumped off the bar. "Sorry, we were just, uh…" She started to say.

"There's no need to explain, we saw what you two were doing." Christian replied in his signature tone.

We all stood there in an awkward silence for a few moments. No one seemed to know what to say in this moment, and no one wanted to be the first to speak.

"Um, Christian, let's call it a night. I'm tired." Lissa spoke up breaking the silence, finally.

Christian looked at her and nodded. "Sounds good. Besides, after what we just saw, I've kind of lost my appetite."

Lissa lightly slapped him in the arm and looked from Rose to me. "Goodnight Rose and Guardian Belikov."

"Please Princess, call me Dimitri." I said trying to act as if I hadn't been kissing her best friend on her kitchen counter.

She smiled politely, "I'll call you Dimitri as long as you call me Lissa."

I nodded, relieved that she was taking the high road. "Goodnight Lissa. And Christian."

Christian grabbed Lissa's arm and headed for the stairs. "Night Rose. Dimitri." He threw over his shoulder.

Rose turned and looked up at me. "Now what?"

I shrugged. I wasn't used to this. What did I do with the person I loved more than life itself now that we were free to be with each other. Start slow, I guess. "Would you like to get something to eat?"

She smiled and my heart thudded loudly in my chest. "Sure."

A short while later we were sitting across from each other in a small booth in the back corner of a tiny diner. "So what are you going to do now that you're not Tasha's Guardian?" She asked, jumping right to the big question.

I took a drink of water, and weighed my options. It only took upwards of a second for me to respond with, "I guess I'll go to the Headquarters tomorrow and see if there is someone here I can guard, or just be an extra Guardian to do patrol, or whatever they need me to do."

She nodded, not taking her eyes off me as if she were sure I would disappear. "As long as you get to stay here, I'll be happy. I know that sounds selfish… but… it's true. I mean, shouldn't the Guardians deserve to be happy too?"

I reached across the table and laced my fingers with hers. "I know exactly how you feel, Roza." I wanted to tell her we were both being selfish and that, no, guardians didn't get to be happy, but thankfully our food arrived.

The rest of dinner was small talk. Mostly we made idle chit-chat and both secretly just wanted to be touching again. To know that the other person was real. Not some horrible trick of the mind or heart.

By the time we left the diner, the sun was rising. We walked slowly, just enjoying the others company, neither wanting to let go of this moment. The only thing I could do to freeze this moment for a bit longer was to pull Rose to the nearest bench and sit with her, watching the sun come up. She huddled close to me, effected by the cold and rested her head on my shoulder. I didn't mind the closeness, though being near her rose my temperature to the point where I could have been sweating.

Rose turned her head slightly and kissed my neck, warmth spreading throughout my body. I didn't care what the new day would bring. I had everything I needed right here in this moment. I wouldn't have gone back to simpler times to save my life. I finally had Rose. I was finally home.

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